Miss Procastination

Please Focus on the Word not what's behind it.

Please Focus on the Words on the shirt not what’s behind it.

Yea, yea, I’m writing this post from my bed. Bite me!

Thank God for the wordpress app, saves me from the stress of using my laptop. Damn! She’s at it again.

Yup! She..
That dreadful, seductive lady called Miss procastination., Mr procastination to you babes.
I wonder how she does it sef.

Because I hate the fact that she twists and turns and my body unconsciously lusts after her.
Not really unconsciously sha. X_X
But most especially, I hate how her hourglass shape manages to remind me of how sweet sleep can be, how the feeling of her lips on mine can play pictures of scoring a classic goal on Fifa in my head or how I’ll be working on a serious project, and then when she tries to seduce me, I say no, she gets angry and starts walking away…. But the way her backside moves.. OMG.. It just fills my mind with gists I have to share with my friends, and I end up calling her back 🙂
Pathetic you would say, and it happened again, yes, it did.

I woke up this wonderful saturday morning by 7:21 am, stared into the lobby from my slightly opened door and I noticed PHCN had been good.

Yes! Fifa time!

Then I spent thirty minutes planning how I would stand up, put on my laptop, start Fifa and play it. Don’t blame me, blame her, she made me do it.
To cut the long story short, they interrupted the power supply and then I spent another thirty minutes scolding myself. Once again, she made me do it.
But like lighting, something struck me; I remembered the To do/ Not to do list I made before this holiday started. I can’t find the list anymore but I can quite recall that I told myself I was not going to get seduced by her; one day to resumption and I think I’ve already gotten her pregnant and why is that?

Nobody quite has the answer to that question.
Countless books have brought up different contraceptives and protection measures yet people still succumb to her antics, but I got the answer to that question today.

Yup! I did!
It’ll cost you 10 bucks to get it out of me. Just type in your paypal or Atm card number below *I’m kidding jor…

Well, its a simple answer.

Have you ever seen the look on a man’s face when a girl he’s sleeping with says she’s pregnant?

Yeah, this face. The face all guys never want to have, hence the continuous success of condom and contraceptive companies. That’s the face you should think of when Miss Procastination comes knocking.

Why now? Oga.. I’m not saying she would give birth to a physical child o! If the fear of that works for you though, use it. 😉

The child am talking about here is the “F” you get as a student when she seduces you to play Fifa the night before your most important exam, the “I’m sorry sir, we can’t offer you this contract” you get as a business man when clubbing and partying keeps you away from your work and you pass the deadline, the “We’re happy for you ma, it’s a girl” you get as a 19 year old girl when your laziness keeps you in that guy’s house late in the night, and so on.. The list is endless.

But keep the fear of this “children” in mind and you would be smart enough to tell Miss Procastination (Mr Procastination to the ladies) NO!
It just worked for me, I definetly don’t want to take dirty clothes back to school, so am heading to the washing machine once am done here. 😀

Thank you for reading.
I thank God I finished it sef, she’s already pulling me back to my bed. 😦

Don’t let her do the same to you, I know she’s telling you to fashi the comment box and just close the page.
What excuse did she give you, “No time”, “Fifa” “Breakfast”, “You need to take your bath”

Sir/Ma, ignore His/Her pleas and put Him/Her to shame by commenting below.

God’ll bless your hustle and to the folks that have children from her already, let’s engage in birth control measures, the economy of this country cannot support too many children, if you know what I mean. 😉

So let’s revise what we’ve learnt today.

Baba free.. We’ll do that later jor

And don’t forget to nominate this blog “damstylee.wordpress.com” in the following categories

• Best Writing Blog
• Best New Blog
• Best Student Blog

In the 2012 nigeria blog awards Here

Thank you for Reading. 🙂

I Think | I Write | I Inspire


36 thoughts on “Miss Procastination

  1. Lmao!!! I lounge contentedly on my bed, surrounded my days’ old laundry. I love Mr. Procastination, tomorrow is his watch word and he always has time for me… But the kids thing really puts it in perspective, everyfn has a consequence…. Lovely piece!!!!


  2. Lol… Its like he’s talking to me… Miss procastination must be my sister cos I get super lazy sometimes… I’m working on it tho… (ʃ⌣ƪ)
    Thanks for the tip, I’ll start picturing babies from now on (˘̯˘ )


  3. You’re very correct… I fell in love with Mr. Procastination thruout my hols…I cldnt resist…I’m glad we dont have children yet though 😉


  4. i totali luv dis piece, its sooo tru. i rili thank God mr procastination and i dint ve children cos we slept togeda 4 as many tyms as possible dis hols. pls i dnt want to see him again o, dis is ma final year. nice one, o debe mehn


  5. Ha! I was going to leave this post open on my tabs and get back later to comment, but you blackmailed me -____- in as much as I love kids, I’m too young to have children.
    So here is me, turning my head away from that sexy mama!



  6. And dats hw Mr procrastination almost made me fail ma exams 😦 Thank God I dint fall so much in love with him. I was dragged out of d relationship b4 it was too late :D… Nice 1 dear.


  7. Pingback: Miss Procrastination: Prologue | Damstylee

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