Are You A Learner? Ep 6

Today, I welcome one of our own, Miss Tofunmi (@mystique561) as she tries to dazzle you with her story.

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Three…two…one… BOOM!

Nothing Sir…no signal on the electrocardiogram, the nurse replied (don’t get it twisted, it’s just a device used to record the heart’s activity).

We’ll take it again, the doctor said with a little bit of
tension in his voice. He applied the gel on the defibrillator (Keep calm, its just an electric-shock machine used to correct a critically irregular heartbeat), placed it on her chest again and tried to resuscitate her again.

Three…two…one… BOOM!

She jerked up screaming, Ye! Mo ku! (I’m dead!)

Please! Please! Where’s my father?! He will kill me!

The doctor and nurses tried to calm her down but to no avail. She looks around and suddenly sees Mr. Ajanlekoko, her father, sitting at the far end of the room. She then begins to shout again.

Te mi ti ba mi!(Nemesis has caught up with me) My head oh! My end has come!

Her father who was wearing a striped shirt with a striped green pair of trousers and brown sandals which seemed to have travelled through all the deserts in Africa jumps right up from his sitting position and
barks at her,

Yes Bola! You’ll surely go back to that state of death you were in if you don’t tell me what happened exactly.

Calm down sir, the doctor said.

Do not tell me to calm down oh, if not, the gun which my fore-fathers used in hunting animals in the bush
will be used to bring down that your head filled with medicine junk.

Err…sorry sir, the doctor replied.

Jennifer, Bola’s friend dressed in micro-mini skirt, a boob-tube blouse and boots like those Lady Gaga wore and by all means an ‘aje-butter’ walked in. She had been watching the scene from the door of the room with so much fear and confusion written all over her stepped forward and said,

I thought you said your father… Bola was giving
her some signals with her eyes to prevent her from talking but of course, a naïve ‘aje-butter’ wouldn’t understand her predicament.

Don’t signal me jorh! Let me talk! Jennifer said and continued,

…didn’t you say your father was a multi-billionaire who owns several companies and wears expensive suits ONLY? But from what I can see, she casts a glance on the outraged father, bleh! He’s so not it

At this point, Mr. Ajanlekoko took fast and measured steps towards Bola and planted a heavy slap on her cheeks.

So you went to lie and disguise in school abi? Is that what I sent you to the university to do? I’ll deal with you

Bola starts crying, No Daddy, it’s not like that.

Before she could even continue speaking, her talkative friend interrupts.

Sir, that’s not all she said oh

Bola places both hands on her head as a sign of total surrender to fate. She was damned and she knew this.

Jennifer continued to run her mouth. She said you have six cars including a Porsche and a limousine. Also that you own ten houses in VGC.

Her eyes lightened up like new insight had come upon her.
Haa jeni! O ti pa mi (You have killed me Jeni)

Ehen…so you even speak Yoruba, after feeding us with tales of how you speak English, Italian and Spanish only.

Mr. Ajanlekoko begins to stare in utter amazement, his daughter just watches in fear.

Wait oh! Didn’t you say your name was Kimberly but
Kim for short? Which one is all this ‘Bola’ I’m hearing?

Mr. Ajanlekoko leaped right over Bola and grabs the surgical blade she attempted to use in stabbing herself.

You’re not going to die until I get to the bottom of this matter. When I know the truth, you can dance
with the demons in hell.
He hissed.

The doctor, obviously enjoying the turn of events asks Jennifer to go on. Jennifer drops her hand bag on the floor, eager to continue her tales.

Kim, oh! sorry, Bola said she was the ‘goddess’ of parties in her estate and that she partied every weekend. Since she claimed to be a party goddess, we invited her to the biggest party on campus. We
started suspecting foul play when she couldn’t even move to the ‘azonto’ beat.
Oh! I forgot to say she told us she was no more a ‘virgin’ and she had met over twenty men in bed. Anyway, as I was saying, the head of the black-bird cult on campus was interested in her and he asked his boys to bring her up to his hotel room…

Wait, Wait, the doctor interrupts, what school are we talking about?

ABTI sir. Jennifer replied

Atiku’s school?

Yes sir.

The one in yola, or is it kaduna?

Yola sir.

Haa! The doctor exclaims, take a glance at the Father and beckons her to continue.

As I was saying, she got there and few minutes later we began to hear noises from the room. It was Kim shouting, we knew she was definitely a learner in the business. She was saying stuff like ..’No! No!! I cannot do it oh! I have known no man since I’ve been in my village, there in Ibadan! My father will shoot me!’

The head of the cult and his gang were clearly infuriated and as a result, beat her to pulp and raped her one after the other afterwards.
Thereafter, she passed out. It was until they all came out we knew what had happened in the room…and then, we rushed her here…

• • •

In the doctor’s office, five minutes later…

Mr. Ajanlekoko: So, Oga dokita, what you think we can do for my daughter who has chosen to disgrace me in public?
Doctor: I’ll say we run some tests and ensure she’s psychologically stable, as well as free of diseases, HIV in particular.
Mr. Ajanlekoko: Tank you very mush dokita. Is that all?
Doctor: Yes sir. But sir, how much is her school fees?
Mr. Ajanlekoko: About two million o!
Doctor: ehn! No offence o, how did you manage to pay her school fees?
Mr. Ajanlekoko: Na lotto I win.
Doctor: How much did you win?
Mr. Ajanlekoko: About six million naira
Doctor: How much is remaining?
Mr. Ajanlekoko: Nothing o! It has finished!
Doctor: How do you intend to pay for her three more years in school?
Mr. Ajanlekoko: Err… She was supposed to get a sch… Scho… Sche…
Doctor: Scholarship?
Mr. Ajanlekoko: Yes! That’s it.
Doctor: How smart
Mr. Ajanlekoko: You say?
Doctor: Nothing sir…. Never mind.. Sir, I must add that, your daughter is a CERTIFIED LEARNER for lying and portraying a false image of herself knowing fully well that she was by no means an expert in such. She and every other youth must know what they stand for and should also be contented with who or what they are and have. But you sir, your actions have not been wise at all. I’m holding my guts not to call you a fool. Who wins a lottery and sends his child to the most expensive school without planning ahead? Are you a Learner?
Mr. Ajanlekoko: I did not know nau… But, what is it you mean by a ‘learner’?
Doctor: (laughs). You can ask your daughter’s friend outside, she should be able to explain further.


    “Illiteracy is never the problem, Ignorance is”

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22 thoughts on “Are You A Learner? Ep 6

  1. Wow!!!, dis made a lot of sense, thumbs up T….@damstylee, nice work here……dis is gonna be a very popular brand name soon by GOD’s grace, just watch…..


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