Can’t Sleep

Disclaimer: This is a rant and a draft. I apologize for any typos or grammatical errors.

* * * * *

Hi.

This is probably my first ever rant on here. Its a blog ain’t it?

So the story is I can’t sleep.

Why’s that? You might ask… Or maybe you don’t. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Well, I really don’t know.
I’m stuck on my bed right now, John Legend’s “All of me” flows gently into my ears through my ear phones and I really wonder why its not putting me to sleep.

I dare say I’m lonely.

I also have to admit that I hate change; good or bad. I’ve had to change friends, environments, schools and everything that’s worth changing over the years.
None of them have left me happy, or let me make it more subtle; elated.

I loved moving out of our rented apartment in Ketu, Lagos to Ikorodu some years back. It was fun because family was around cos of the holiday but immediately they left, it dawned on me that I just left friends, companionship and a life behind. Took me a while to get over them but I guess I have now. That’s just one drastic change out of many.

The latest one is graduating from Covenant University.

A lot of folks claim the school is crappy and I disagree with you on all fronts. CU is one if the best things that ever happened to me. I had friends, I had colleagues, I had a life, I had a family. Then I graduated and all that went down the drain. I saw a couple of people cry on the big day and I laughed. Not because I didn’t feel bad but because I knew my body prides itself so much, it never shows emotions immediately. It was handing itself the joker card and my soul was left to suffer for that.

“We might never see again.”

That was one phrase that pierced my heart. Why do we make friends to just move on? Why do I build a family and then leave them? Why do I have to play this card every single time I change, every time I move on?

I’m a strong person alright. I’ve heard a lot say that. Unfortunately, I don’t even know if I am. I live in fear of tomorrow.
What if my best friend slumped and died now? Do I just move on?

Why can’t 20 friends play for 20 years?

Why aren’t all fingers equal?

Why must there be a Gates, Jobs, Hitler and bum in every family?

Why do my parents have to leave me one day?

Why is there an heaven and an hell?

What if a friend doesn’t make it?

Okay, I think I’m gonna stop here and just continue with these;

Love is awesome.
Family is awesome.
Friends are awesome.
Children are awesome.
Giving is awesome.

Don’t lose what you have before you know its value.
Love that boy.
Cherish that girl.
Adore that mother.
Respect that father.
Give to that bum.
Hug that orphan.
Live your life.
Have fun.
Laugh.
Sing.
Dance.
Shout.
Cry.
Love.
And worship that God.

I don’t know how I’m gonna end this so I’ll just say Goodnight.

Mike Dammy

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32 thoughts on “Can’t Sleep

  1. I hate people leaving… people say you get used to it. It’s a lie. It’s painful and it’s hard… till you finally just become a drifter, never quite attaching anymore
    . I knownyou tried to be all optimistic in the end but, I’m not in the state of mind to see that at all. Being “strong” sucks when you want to cry.

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  2. Night crawlers….. Well. I’m nt up bcos I can’t sleep…. I wnt to sleep , I feel lyk sleeping buh icant. Exams in january ๐Ÿ˜ฆ …….. Ok somebody lied….. I can’t sleep …. One minute it is all laugh,love and giggles and next shadows, silence, and fragments of memories…. Yh change sucks…

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  3. Its like you were in my head. Sigh.. all I can say is God would still be there no matter what..and He can handle all my cares and burdens much better than I would.

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  4. (Un)fortunately for me, I had nomadic parents. I’ve lived in Kano, Sokoto, Benin, Lagos, Enugu, Conakry (Guinea), etc…

    I have long ago shut off my attachment to people and places.

    I’ve been to hell and heaven, and I don’t care for eithee because I know they are always transitional. Hence, I do not take the pain nor the bliss to heart.

    It is terrible because it ends up affecting my relationship with people you’re supposed to love. You love ’em, quite alright, but in a way that shows that you do not expect them to be there forever…

    Sigh. Screw you niggah for making me sentimental ๐Ÿ˜€

    Season’s Greetings, Dammy sir!

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    • Wow.. That’s a lot of places to live in one lifetime. In another context, I might have said I envied your life.

      And yea, you’re welcome. -__-
      Season’s greetings to you too sir.

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  5. Well, the word change is scary but exciting and challenging. You don’t choose to leave friends but sometimes you have to so you can get ahead. And frankly, the world revolves around change and you can be sure God will never leave you, much more than that, He’ll give wonderful friends that stick closer than family. Nice one Mike. Christmas Blessings, Jola.

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  6. Humans, emotional creatures as they are, form bonds sometimes without ever meaning to. It’s the worst when those bonds get destroyed. Find the ones that mean the most to you and do everything in your power to keep them going

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  7. me likey (y).
    people always leave. it’s inevitable.
    the questions, I don’t have the answers to those. lol
    I guess life is about enjoying the moment (the right way) cus no one knows what tomorrow will bring.
    nice post (y)

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  8. If u call dis a draft den ur just super gud……true talk tho…..we all go thru dis phase of change and its painful each tym buh d people we end up wv 4 life make d change woth it…..God bless

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  9. ๎›‘ can also relate with this cos ๎›‘’ve had people come and go and even lost people dear to me but please don’t stop making friends. The friends u make today are like dots scattered all over d world nd they’l somehow connect your life together when u least expect. Remember its a small world!

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  10. Your what ifs led you down negative lane.
    Instead of saying, what if your friend doesn’t make it?
    You should say, what if he does?
    There’s more power available for him to make it
    Than for him not to make it.

    Have faith in God

    Like

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