Can’t Sleep

Disclaimer: This is a rant and a draft. I apologize for any typos or grammatical errors.

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Hi.

This is probably my first ever rant on here. Its a blog ain’t it?

So the story is I can’t sleep.

Why’s that? You might ask… Or maybe you don’t. 😦

Well, I really don’t know.
I’m stuck on my bed right now, John Legend’s “All of me” flows gently into my ears through my ear phones and I really wonder why its not putting me to sleep.

I dare say I’m lonely.

I also have to admit that I hate change; good or bad. I’ve had to change friends, environments, schools and everything that’s worth changing over the years.
None of them have left me happy, or let me make it more subtle; elated.

I loved moving out of our rented apartment in Ketu, Lagos to Ikorodu some years back. It was fun because family was around cos of the holiday but immediately they left, it dawned on me that I just left friends, companionship and a life behind. Took me a while to get over them but I guess I have now. That’s just one drastic change out of many.

The latest one is graduating from Covenant University.

A lot of folks claim the school is crappy and I disagree with you on all fronts. CU is one if the best things that ever happened to me. I had friends, I had colleagues, I had a life, I had a family. Then I graduated and all that went down the drain. I saw a couple of people cry on the big day and I laughed. Not because I didn’t feel bad but because I knew my body prides itself so much, it never shows emotions immediately. It was handing itself the joker card and my soul was left to suffer for that.

“We might never see again.”

That was one phrase that pierced my heart. Why do we make friends to just move on? Why do I build a family and then leave them? Why do I have to play this card every single time I change, every time I move on?

I’m a strong person alright. I’ve heard a lot say that. Unfortunately, I don’t even know if I am. I live in fear of tomorrow.
What if my best friend slumped and died now? Do I just move on?

Why can’t 20 friends play for 20 years?

Why aren’t all fingers equal?

Why must there be a Gates, Jobs, Hitler and bum in every family?

Why do my parents have to leave me one day?

Why is there an heaven and an hell?

What if a friend doesn’t make it?

Okay, I think I’m gonna stop here and just continue with these;

Love is awesome.
Family is awesome.
Friends are awesome.
Children are awesome.
Giving is awesome.

Don’t lose what you have before you know its value.
Love that boy.
Cherish that girl.
Adore that mother.
Respect that father.
Give to that bum.
Hug that orphan.
Live your life.
Have fun.
Laugh.
Sing.
Dance.
Shout.
Cry.
Love.
And worship that God.

I don’t know how I’m gonna end this so I’ll just say Goodnight.

Mike Dammy