Compliments of the season.
I hope you’ve had a Fabulous celebration. I have. :p
So the year ends in less than two days and I’m taking it out upon myself to make it a favourable one for all of us.
I’m starting a short series. The shortest you’ll ever see. Its called The Letters.
Awesome thing is you can be involved also.
First, a short description.
Myself and a couple of awesome writers would be posting Letters. Short Letters addressed to anybody. Anybody in the sense that you can see a letter to Beyonce, Batman or maybe a pet cat.
Expect hilarious letters.
Expect crazy secrets to be blown open.
Expect stupendous statements.
Expect the unexpected.
All between now and the new year.
And you can get in on the fun.
Write a letter to anybody. A crush perhaps, a family member… Maybe your evil chemistry lecturer.
Make sure it has a bit of fun and makes sense too and send it to my email; email@example.com
awesome good, we’ll post it today or tomorrow.
Let’s start with the first letter.
Yours truly wrote it.
A short letter to Nollywood.
Enjoy and watch this space for more.
Do leave comments and share after each letter.
God bless and Happy New Year in advance.
* * *
To the Nigerian Movie Industry
I used to love you. Permit me for skipping pleasantries and greetings but I really did love you. When I was younger and definitely more naive, you always wowed me. Every night it was one home video or the other. Every piece of it; brilliant renditions by awesome actors and actresses. I mean; the likes of Joke Silva, Olu Jacobs, RMD, IYA Rainbow and a host of other gifted actors.
That was when the going was good. When you were actually a movie industry to be reckoned with. Arnold Schwarzenegger had nothing on you even with his stunts and robotic blah blah blah. You were invincible and everybody liked you. Bankers, Engineers, Students, Artisans. We reveled in your glory and we thought this could only get better.
We thought wrong. I mean we must have been crazy to think that way.
Barely 15 years after and you are a mess. No offence to anybody involved. I can never catch myself watching one of your home videos anymore except for maybe the new generational ones; Ije, Half of a yellow sun, Phone Swap and the likes and I’m sure I speak for a whole lot of Nigerian youths.
Asides that, I could kill myself for watching one of your movies. I mean some years back, I would have picked a scene involving Ramsey Nouah and Omotola Jalade over Johnny Depp and an anaconda. But I definitely can’t do that today. Your movies literally suck ass and IQs too. People complain of feeling dumb after a few hours of watching you and who would blame them? Sometimes you have up to part 8. Eight! When its not a series or soap opera?
Your story lines are boring. Plots are outstandingly lame. Actors are less articulated with their roles. The whole thing is alarming and who would blame you. Blockbusters like Avatar (Not that choreography like cartoon super hero o… The blue aliens) took years to finish, your directors finish movies in weeks and boast about it. Sad. And you say we don’t love you anymore. Why should we?
Hollywood grew up. Bollywood did even with all the annoying dancing and singing cameos. Why did you choose to remain a kid?
I hope you change your ways. For your sake. 2014 is a new start for everybody including you. You’ve already failed us once. Try not to repeat it.