The Letters | Shina Rambo

Like I said earlier;

Myself and a couple of awesome writers would be posting Letters. Short Letters addressed to anybody. Anybody in the sense that you can see a letter to Beyonce, Batman or maybe a pet cat.

Expect hilarious letters.
Expect crazy secrets to be blown open.
Expect stupendous statements.
Expect the unexpected.

All between now and the new year.

And you can get in on the fun.
Write a letter to anybody. A crush perhaps, a family member… Maybe your evil chemistry lecturer.
Make sure it has a bit of fun and makes sense too and send it to my email; damstylee@yahoo.com

If its awesome good, we’ll post it today.

I continue now with a letter to our very own ; Shina Rambo.
I still feel I was too harsh but sha ….

If you missed the letter addressed to Super Mario however; you can read it Here

Enjoy!

* * *

Sir Rambo.

Or is it Shina. I hail o.
Of all the letters I’ve written, this is one I think the fellow it has been addressed to needs as soon as possible.

Let’s start from your lyrical ability shall we.
No offence to your skills set but you claim to be a rapper and I’ve seen hundreds of better lyricists and punchline kings wannabe in my school and on twitter. I mean have to listened to Omari, Ozone, Leon or Flow?

You also claim you’re a fine and secure boy yet you follow Davido around like his shadow. I hope you don’t claim you’re 20 too because your lack of talent is not brand new. No. It has definitely been nurtured and sustained over a period of years. Almost to the heights of His Highness; Sir Vic O.

* * *

“I dey like Dele and I b like Bayo”

These punch line asides from the ones Ice Prince dishes out on a reg should be in the hall of shame. I mean, what were you thinking? Comedy?

I remember secondary school students dropping those exact words in the ol’days. And here you are dropping the same lines on a single. A single you released to the Nigerian public. Damn, you’re the male version of our very own POKO queen.

I’ll need you right now to imagine the faces of other rappers in the country. The likes of M.I., Vector, jagz, Phenomenon, even Mode 9 and I want you to imagine them laugh at you cos that’s exactly what you deserve. Okay, a little bit more than you deserve. I might just be too harsh.

My advice to you though for 2014.
Drop the MIC and stuck to being in Davido’s bridal train. At least your name keeps getting mentioned in hit songs and you still remain in the spot lights and on our radio stations. If you can’t do that, get on a plane to the States and try out at America’s got talent. I bet Howard Stern would convince you in no time.
This is a rant all right but the first advice was real. Take it.

Yours sincerely

Mike Dammy

P.s. I googled your name earlier today. That former criminal lord whose alias you stole borrowed is still a bigger fish. At least to Google. You know what that says.

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