The Letters | Twitter Chic @Sifon_B

Okay, @Sifon_B was hilarious here…

* * *

I write this letter, out of utter sympathy to you, Miss Twitter Chic.
I also write this letter, because if I don’t tell you these harsh truths, No one will. I don’t mean to make you sad, or angry, But I want you to open your eyes to the world around you.

Many Saturdays have passed since you joined twitter, and I haven’t seen you tweet once “Getting Married Today”. Have you asked yourself, what the problem is? Is it because of your tweets? Or the photos you upload? Or is it the fact that no man in his right senses will get married to a “twitter queen”?   How will you get hitched, to a responsible man when all you do all day is to tweet nonsense and obscene words, look for twitfights, tweet your nudes, and troll incessantly?

Dear twitter chic, the time you spend, conjuring up these “Dope” tweets, would have been put in the kitchen, learning from your mother, how to cook egusi, or make pounded yam. Are you going to serve tweets to your husband as dinner?
The time you spend twitfighting, would have been spent sweeping, or better still cooking.

Dear twitter chic, have you thought about the future? What will be your reply to your daughter, when she sees your obscene tweets and nudes online? What will be your defence to that? How would your future husband feel when his friends show him your nudes which you posted online?

Dear Twitter Chic:

EVERYBODY CANNOT BE A MODEL!

Stop disgracing your future family this way.
Stop acting like miley cyrus, or rihanna.
You are not an oyinbo girl ohhhhh!

Dear Twitter girl, STOP being a snub! That Boy that you just ignored in your DM could be your future husband oh. If you miss him, and he marries another chic, Don’t be blaming witches when you are 39 and single. Oh! It was your fault.

Dear Twitter girl, please behave well in 2014, and make the world a better place.
Learn a soup or two, stop posting nudes,stop snubbing,stop twitfighting, and we would have world peace. At least on twitter.

Your faithfully,
@Sifon_B

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