Ode To Sadness by @Jessesole

Deep within darkness I fell

Scraping at the very surface of what remained of my soul

As the light in my eyes faded in shadows

I descend into depths of grey and nothingness

A world of no sides nor tangibles

The little light left gasping within travels to and fro

As I watch colours fade as I fall beneath the surface, into unknown depths

I was helpless

Sounds won’t be made in this world

For there was no air yet I wasn’t choking

Just nothingness

And I was encased within it

And before my fall into despair, the little hope left in me prayed to be saved and delivered

For what plagued me I had no strength to overcome.

Slowly consciousness faded

And my mind seemed to fall into a deep sleep,

Soon my thoughts faded into whispers and I

You remember as I do

The days you encompassed me

Engulfed my very being as I fell deep beneath the surface into your engulfing grey scheme

You took me and reminded me of my sorrows

Washed me over until I felt alone and neglected

Within your world were no colours but grey

No feelings but emptiness

No will but helplessness

Your shades taking away the light in my eyes

As I threw so gallantly fake smiles at my fellow men

And alone by you, with myself alone with you

You seized me till I wept, wept silly

You were my companion in those times

When no one watched

When no one was around

I would find my corner and drown myself in you

Soon I had Self-pity; a friend of yours pay me homage

And by and by you were the only feeling I could define

The only feeling I could remember

Soon I was addicted to the way you made me feel

And it was all I wanted to feel, even when you had nothing on me

Though having you around condemned me to Depression; your other friend

That once a while my heart would ache within me

Still I cultured you into my mind’s view of normalcy

And whatever else was a once a while treat

And if I ever was asked “are you fine”,

Me replying yes was my truth and I truly with you been there was fine

I wouldn’t lie; I can say I have missed you

But what we had is over

I was with you for so long that I could manage you, bend you and thrive within you

but been without you has had me live

And even now writing about you has me feeling only you

I do remember you

I loved you

I felt safe in your cozy grey

I remember when with you my distaste of happiness

Its bright colours that seemed to light up the environs

But now I have someone even better within me

Someone like the sun itself.

Hmph, thank you for been there

Because coming out of you though then I was an unwilling captive, made me stronger

I won’t forget you because I know you loved me as I loved you

Though it wasn’t good love

In case you wonder about me, I am in a blessed place

A place I could not even perceive when with you

Joy brought me here, the one I said is even better than Happiness

Yes, the same fellow you dreaded

Thank you Greysoul

The name I later came to give the union of you and me

And concerning tomorrow by the grace of God, I will work to never been with you

* * * * *

I behold light, break forth from the surface to reach me beneath

As it breaks the shackles off me, causing me free

I realize now that I slept all along

Though within that sleep I knew not that I slept

So refreshing it is, that my soul fumbles in words and expressions

Like wings have been given me to fly

I am glad, I am happy, I am joyful…

2 thoughts on “Ode To Sadness by @Jessesole

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