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No need for further introduction, I, myself, Mike Dammy wrote this episode.
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Here goes nothing.
• • •
Kanayo was a bad guy.
He was rich and popular. Had estates and villas in every city in nigeria. He was however proud and always walked about in his designer clothes and sun glasses even at 1am.
Another crazy aspect about him was his barrages with women, girls and anything that had skirt on. God save you, you dress like that Nigerian superstar *coughs* with the high heels and he catches you, you’re off. Rumours have it that he did kidnap the superstar though and kept him for some days. What happened is still a mystery to the media but inside sources say the superstar left with a limp sustained from excess sprints on the treadmill (if you believe that story, Are you a learner 8 is definitely going to be about you).
Kanayo had one guy that was his G, Chris. They walked together, clubbed together and did almost everything together. Sources say they were actually never close but who knows, this celebs have a way of keeping their stories confusing to the masses.
Anyways, one day, Kanayo proclaimed on national Tv; CNN, (no offence to NTA) that he was ready to settle down and get married. This news caused a uproar in the country. Thousands and thousands of guys got dumped and Spas became the business of the day.
• • •
Kimberly was a beautiful dashing young lady.
She graced all the red carpet events, even the ones for top talents. Problem was that she had no talent, not even one but her pretty face, stunning body and her penchant love for scandals made her one of the most sought after celebs in the country, but that was for a short while.
One afternoon, when the sun was scorching hot, and village boys relaxed under the mango tree after their escapades with the girls. News filtered everywhere that a video of Kimberly was trending. The video had her in compromising positions with a popular fuji musician whose career was dangling in the balance. Some people say they ate the forbidden fruit too, but owning to our standards, we haven’t been able to watch and confirm if this is true even till this day. So that’s how Kimberly became famous.
Four years later, her fame was beginning to dwindle and she sought for a way to resurrect it.
Alas, she saw Kanayo’s proclamation on Tv and she knew she was home and dry.
• • •
Its been six months since Kanayo’s proclamation swept the media. Kanayo’s now deeply in love and engaged to Miss Kimberly. Last week, she announced that she was pregnant. Many people refused to believe but they later ate their hearts out when they found out labels like Dudu osun, Trebor and Yoyo Bitters were clamoring over each other for her signature in their next advert which was to include a pregnant lady.
• • •
Another scandal broke out this morning as expected.
It took six months but the masses have finally gotten a chance to say “I told you so”. Our sources got information that Kanayo is not the father of Kimberly’s daughter but Chris.
Attempts to get to Mr Kanayo or Miss Kimberly has proved futile. We however did get to Mr Chris and he left us with one statement;
- I don’t know for sure but am sure one of us (talking of himself and Mr Kanayo) has been a Learner at this.
I’m pretty sure I know how to use a condom..
What the statement means actually is still decisive..
Did he mean Mr Kanayo should have worn contraceptives?
Had he warned Mr Kanayo about Miss Kimberly before?
That statement leaves many questions to be answered, but we’ll leave you to guess how the story will end.
If you really believe the characters; Mr Kanayo, Miss Kimberly and Mr Chris are real, you’re not very literate.
If you believe the story isn’t real, you are definitely a learner.
If you still don’t know what(who) am talking about, it is well with you. Just scroll down.
Err….. I think we’re done here….
“Remember, Spoilt milk never gets good overnight”
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