Ode To Sadness by @Jessesole

Deep within darkness I fell

Scraping at the very surface of what remained of my soul

As the light in my eyes faded in shadows

I descend into depths of grey and nothingness

A world of no sides nor tangibles

The little light left gasping within travels to and fro

As I watch colours fade as I fall beneath the surface, into unknown depths

I was helpless

Sounds won’t be made in this world

For there was no air yet I wasn’t choking

Just nothingness

And I was encased within it

And before my fall into despair, the little hope left in me prayed to be saved and delivered

For what plagued me I had no strength to overcome.

Slowly consciousness faded

And my mind seemed to fall into a deep sleep,

Soon my thoughts faded into whispers and I

You remember as I do

The days you encompassed me

Engulfed my very being as I fell deep beneath the surface into your engulfing grey scheme

You took me and reminded me of my sorrows

Washed me over until I felt alone and neglected

Within your world were no colours but grey

No feelings but emptiness

No will but helplessness

Your shades taking away the light in my eyes

As I threw so gallantly fake smiles at my fellow men

And alone by you, with myself alone with you

You seized me till I wept, wept silly

You were my companion in those times

When no one watched

When no one was around

I would find my corner and drown myself in you

Soon I had Self-pity; a friend of yours pay me homage

And by and by you were the only feeling I could define

The only feeling I could remember

Soon I was addicted to the way you made me feel

And it was all I wanted to feel, even when you had nothing on me

Though having you around condemned me to Depression; your other friend

That once a while my heart would ache within me

Still I cultured you into my mind’s view of normalcy

And whatever else was a once a while treat

And if I ever was asked “are you fine”,

Me replying yes was my truth and I truly with you been there was fine

I wouldn’t lie; I can say I have missed you

But what we had is over

I was with you for so long that I could manage you, bend you and thrive within you

but been without you has had me live

And even now writing about you has me feeling only you

I do remember you

I loved you

I felt safe in your cozy grey

I remember when with you my distaste of happiness

Its bright colours that seemed to light up the environs

But now I have someone even better within me

Someone like the sun itself.

Hmph, thank you for been there

Because coming out of you though then I was an unwilling captive, made me stronger

I won’t forget you because I know you loved me as I loved you

Though it wasn’t good love

In case you wonder about me, I am in a blessed place

A place I could not even perceive when with you

Joy brought me here, the one I said is even better than Happiness

Yes, the same fellow you dreaded

Thank you Greysoul

The name I later came to give the union of you and me

And concerning tomorrow by the grace of God, I will work to never been with you

* * * * *

I behold light, break forth from the surface to reach me beneath

As it breaks the shackles off me, causing me free

I realize now that I slept all along

Though within that sleep I knew not that I slept

So refreshing it is, that my soul fumbles in words and expressions

Like wings have been given me to fly

I am glad, I am happy, I am joyful…

A Night Among the Queens 3


Welcome back to the finale A Night Among The Queens series authored by Miss Joseph Antonia.

If you missed the first two episodes, you can view them here

Episode 1

Episode 2

If you missed our last post; Heaven is real and Hell is no different. You should catch up by reading it.

That said…. Enjoy. 🙂


’Esther hall Queens, its great silence time’’ the voice of the hall officer blared from the public address system, a few hours after roll- call. I smiled to myself, wondering why nobody had caught on to my tricks. I waited for fifteen minutes for the moans coming from my room-mates to turn to snores.

In truth, the bathroom was nowhere comfortable for a plus-size like me. I still cannot understand why the laundry room idea didn’t come to me. I could be well-hidden from any girl passing at night by the wall partition. As if to answer my prayer, the light went off. Blessing my luck, I grabbed my bucket, toiletries and towel to have a quick bath.


          As I hummed ‘God in me’ by Mary Mary, I rubbed the rich lather on my face. That was when it happened right? I can’t really remember now, as I step into the Senate building to be directed to the office where the verdict would be decided.

The light suddenly came on, flooding into my eyes. Only it wasn’t PHCN that turned it on, it was Rebecca. At least, the scream that followed confirmed that. They call us Queens but frankly, I don’t think Rebecca behaved like one. She screamed like a Broiler about to be slaughtered. Why hadn’t she behaved like royalty and taken control of herself? We could have worked things out, right? Are Queens that brutal? Yeah, I found out the hard way. Girls came not just from the floor but the whole wing while opposite wings peeped through windows. They didn’t even give me the chance to hide my shame and cover my nudity.

At that moment, human nature was revealed as they rained curses on me in their mother tongues. Girls that had been forming posh. The hall officers were alerted and they took control of the situation. I was moved to a vacant room in Peter hall that night. I remember the look of disappointment on Zeanat and Tolulope’s faces. Rebecca, er, not clearly. It was probably disgust.

The security men at the entrance of the Senate Building shake their heads as I walk past them. Boy, news does travel fast. Everyone in this school probably knows about it even as you read this. Please don’t judge me, I never meant to hurt anyone. Only that fateful night among queens did I realise the full consequences of my action. People are whispering around. Don’t judge me, I want to scream.

Oh God, if you get me out of this mess, I will never do it again. I finally enter the office and the people behind the desk don’t look pleased. Please, someone, anyone, say it has happened before. Say you understand what could have driven me to do something like that. Please, anyone? It won’t happen again, I promise. Just don’t judge me.

‘’Well, Mr Kemi Durodola…’’ that is all I hear. The pressure is too much. So, I pass out…


The End


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A Night Among the Queens 2


Welcome back… If you’re wondering what the topic is, then you definitely havent read the first episode…. which you can https://damstylee.wordpress.com/2013/06/19/a-night-among-the-queens-1/

Asides that… You’re cool. so Enjoy.



Kemi, I hope you know what you are doing, the angel in me said. I rubbed the Afro on my head, ignoring the inner voice. Thank you, I said at the entrance of the room. I gave the porter who had helped to carry my box, ₦500.00, and stepped into the room. Unpacking, was the most beautiful girl I had ever dared to look at. I looked down quickly. ‘’Hello’’, she said. She was wearing a maxi dress which did little to hide the body type I had been privy to have. At that moment, I knew there was no turning back. I was so in there.

So, I had met all my room-mates: Rebecca, Zeanat and Tolulope. It felt weird at first but I decided I could live with them. It wasn’t so bad anyway. Fortunately, they all saw me as a tom-boy which meant I was safe or at least, so I thought.


          ‘’Have you ever noticed Kemi always feigns sleep whenever we dress in the room?’’ Rebecca began, one evening, exactly two days later. What the_? I thought. She was going to get me in trouble. ‘’Yeah,’’ Zeanat added. ‘’Totally weird. I mean, we are all girls why do you have to be so shy?’’ ‘’Girls, seriously? We all have diverse opinions on the concept of modesty. I don’t see any problem If I choose to.’’ Wow, my confidence had certainly improved. How else could all the words have popped out? The announcement of a program in the chapel interrupted Tolu before her contribution started coming out of her mouth. I thanked God for the sweet timing of the interruption and ran downstairs. Who wanted an offence form?


          ‘’When do you intend to unpack?’’ Rebecca asked me, the next evening. What was wrong with this girl? I asked myself, the angel in me ignored me. ‘’I will eventually unpack’’ I replied. ‘’Let’s go and have our baths’’ she suggested. ‘’Excuse me?’’ I said. They were the only words that could come out at that moment. ‘’I don’t enjoy being cooped up in that small bathroom. Most students have their baths in the laundry room. It is probably more comfortable’’ Hell no I thought ignoring the excitement the devil in me was experiencing. It had been getting difficult to hear the angel in me lately. ‘’I can’t stomach the thought of a public bath’’ I replied. Rebecca gave me a look like I was being incredulous. ‘’Becky, I just don’t savour the idea’’ I said, with a note of finality.

As I walked out of the room, it occurred to me, that Rebecca had always seen my modesty among my fellow girls as inappropriate. I should have known then, that she, who had always had her way, would not relent…


To be Continued


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A Night Among the Queens 1

Sup Yo!

Been a while yeah… We’re really sorry on here.. we’re truly sorry. Exams, projects, studio and most importantly LAZINESS.

Anyways, today, we introduce a guest writer; Miss Antonia Joseph and she tells a story in the body of…… nah… you find out yourselves.


I know its short yeah, but still enjoy.

p.s. CU students would get a hang of this story better.


With resignation, I walked into the office, my registration details in hand, two saying female, one, male. Had the typists been blind? I don’t know. Clad in shirt and plain black trousers which managed to accentuate the fact that I was fat and obese. People sometimes mistake me for a girl. Not their fault but my anatomy, which somehow suggests what isn’t. Unfortunately, my diminutive voice leaves more to be told. In fact, I am one who people prefer to call effeminate. I do every manly thing I can think of but my flabs don’t go away. Mother started this when she named me Kemi. A name generally associated with Yoruba females.

‘’Kemi, you have to go to the other side’’ the low rumble came, from an elderly man with a stubble. I didn’t notice the new line was a girls only. The worm of low self-esteem had eaten deep into my system that I couldn’t care less about where I had been directed to. Fortunately, the woman to interview me was tired and hurriedly signed for me to go. You couldn’t blame the poor woman. The sight of the long queue behind me was really intimidating.


As soon as the driver parked in front of my hall, I stepped out with all the courage I could muster, to face my destiny. What I saw made me drop the satchel I had draped over one shoulder. Esther hall!!!

I hurriedly picked the paper which had fallen too. Surely I had read wrong. Esther hall, D309. Adekemi Durodola. ‘’The…there’s …there’s been a mistake’’ I stuttered. I turned back to the driver to explain. The smile he gave me made me blush. Was he flirting? I am a boy! But bashful me said nothing. All I had to do was explain to the women around and everything would be fine.

I took a step forward. A step that was to change my life, because that was the moment the crazy idea came. I had been bullied all my life among the boys. What if I was accepted here? I could be happy here! The angel in me scolded me for thinking that way but I promised I wouldn’t spy on the innocent girls. What harm could I cause? I just wanted to be accepted and loved for who I was and not what I was. It was risky but I stepped in. As fate would have it, my luggage was bypassed by mistake in the search routine. It was my lucky day. I mean how else could I explain the boxers and ties I had packed. As for female shoes, I could sort them later. With the best smile ever, I walked in, following the porter who directed me in…

To be Continued


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The Fulcrum

Great minds think alike. trust me, they really do. And when they are namesakes, the combo is awesome. I’m just saying sha.

Anyways, today’s post is written by one Man/Leader I really respect. I doubt he is as old as I’m making him seem, but you should know him already.

So permit me to welcome Damilare (@dami_maverick) as he opens you’re eyes to another secret, rather another rhema you might never have caught. You can visit his blog here

I leave you to Mr Dami now. Be Inspired.



The Fulcrum (1)

Ful•crum /ˈfo͝olkrəm/

1.         The point on which a lever rests or is supported.

2.         A thing that plays a central or essential role in an activity, event, or situation

At certain points in a man’s journey in life there are tiny pockets of opportunity I like to call pivots. These are critical issues, key situations on which the balance of destiny is hinged. To the untrained eye they are seemingly mundane occurrences which bear no signification. You could regard them as seasons of judgment that requires an importunate move from the individual.

First let us start with the pivot of Salvation.

Time circles round and grinds to a halt. Before you are two gardens, separated in time but connected by one single thread that runs through all of eternity – Adam. There are two of them, they stand face to face. Two Adams – one a living soul, the other a life-giving spirit 1 Corinthians 15:44-46. This is the fulcrum. The pivot on which humanity’s tragic tale revolves. Let us look into the last hours of the second Adam to gain a clearer picture.

As the clock spiraled down to the hour of blood, the son of Elyon knelt amidst the scattered shrubs and hedgerows of the garden of Gethsemane Matthew 26:35-37 and had a long talk with his Dad. This was no trivial chat, the bell was tolling, and the hangman’s noose was beckoning. The savior’s knees pressed hard against the craggy garden soil with his face bloodied from sweat mingled with blood and his knuckles tensed. It was as though the agony of millennia were being funneled into the mortal, kitschy frame of this carpenter from Nazareth.

One singular act of high treason had brought him to this point. The Man in Eden had opened up a box of insatiable appetite, a hunger, no a lust for the forbidden fruit. He had given his title deed over to the king of demons. Humanity’s will was now subject to the whims and caprices of the deceiver. That was why he was here (1 John 3:8). That was why he knelt on the stony, moss-ridden path hidden from sight. He, Christ, was here to correct the wrong perpetuated in that garden.

This was a critical moment. He could either grab the bull by the horns or whimper back to the safety of his mother. He could either go toe-to-toe with the horde of hell or hide in shame. He decided. He would lay down his own life; no one could dare take it from him. His voice sending tremors through the realm of spirits, he spoke to the hearing of the angelic audience and demagogue of demons … “thy will be done

Everything hinges on Christ – the one who surrendered all to the will of the Father. What clearer picture can be painted, what better tale could be spun? The Christ walked to the cross and in that moment set in motion the ultimate prison break. It was his choice – he wasn’t murdered or assassinated. He laid down his life as a sacrifice John 10:15. For us our personal perspective and the level of priority we place on this act of ‘insane’ LOVE is our own PIVOT. How will you respond to such a show of audacious affection?

Consider now the current state of your life. Are you bedazzled by the wanton wealth of men? Are you caught in a web of seduction, lies and despicable deceit? Is your life riddled by emptiness and vanishing vanities? There is a wide road paved with the gaudy trinkets of man’s lusts, it appears to lead home but at the end of the street is the citadel of destruction.

The most critical decision you can ever make in your life is to TRUST in the death and resurrection of Elyon’s Son. This is the fulcrum! It shifts the balance of power in our favor. No guilt in life, no fear in death – this is the power of Christ in me. The Risen Lord resident in you is the hope of glory. Making this decision strips you of the old Adamic nature and clothes in the Robe of Righteousness sewn by the blood of the Lamb. Every other decision of Faith stems from this reality – that it is no longer you who live but Christ (the Second Adam).

What say you? How will you judge this matter? Is this to you the idle rambling of a fanatical writer? Or will you allow these words speak to you? Accepting and surrendering to the absolute Lordship of Christ and His work of redemption is the only decision worth making in this life.

The hour of blood is coming …



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In Memoriam of Tayo Fakiyesi

Hey there!

Welcome back to your favorite blog, I guess…..

Well, today we introduce a new writer on the blog; Mr Vi Davies (@schouse) . He introduces himself with a memoriam to a great mentor and teacher; one who he and many other Unilag students have benefited greatly from.

Please endeavor to share your comments and views at the end of the post and subscribe to the blog for updates on future posts.

With that said, I’ll leave you to Mr Davies to be inspired.

Be blessed!

• • •

In Memoriam _ Sourced from Google

In Memoriam _ Sourced from Google

JULY 1, 2011

It was a Friday, the last day of the week, and usually we were billed to have the regular early morning ECN 421 macroeconomics class with our teacher, Professor Tayo Fakiyesi who was also the current head of department at that time. I individually looked forward to this class, as for someone like myself that had been bearing a deep ideological-based grudged against the system of education I met in the University of Lagos; Professor Tayo’s class was a markedly different one from the lot and his intuitively analytical and concentric way of dispensing knowledge, especially given his attitude and persona as someone who wanted to be portrayed as a running stream of intellect that arrived at theories by dialectical discourse incorporating every possible facet of relevant thought, and the privilege to have been taught by the “only one in Lagos”, the secular cliché used by colleagues, students and sundry informed admirers alike to refer to his eminent position as the only professor of economics in all relevant academic institutions within the Lagos jurisdiction was for me a joy unbounded by the continuum of being well grounded in theory on one hand and the combined psychedelic and esoteric attributes of his learned persona on the other.

On this particular Friday, he had in characteristic fashion beat the heavy rains to attend class sooner than the vast majority of us despite the toll on his own health and having found only a few of his usually large audience in turn out, he took attendance and left, and our class representative later without grace passed on to us a replica expression on his face that meant he was angry, disappointed and disillusioned with behavior one wouldn’t have expected from students in the final decisive lap in the race towards obtaining the golden fleece.

But other than possible disciplinary and corrective measures, the day was to have stern, ill-fated and gravely wicked realities for us (am in tears as I remember this). By evening, while an ergodic section of us the male folks of our class held banter and wit in the Biobaku Hall of Residence, Dami Sanni, an executive member of our class came with a grave look bearing the grim, evil news. Before voicing it out in terse and graphic Yoruba “HOD ti sha laisi” (The HOD is dead), my mind had hazarded the worst probabilities and I had come to the same conclusion. In the grave solemnity and derailing effect of that moment, I broke down in shuddered tears as my philosophical faculties tried hard to grasp the fact that I would no more maintain a physical connection with a man whom against all of my own ideological whims of not maintaining a beyond formal relationship with my tutors, I began to take on as a friend, teacher and elder companion in the quest of making sense of this journey called life, although he was not aware of the last line of responsibility I bestowed on him.

So we all accepted the truth, made an offertory prayer for his repose and then I went to the bathroom to sob. So no more Tayo again, no more that man with desire to teach and inculcate only whatever made the UNILAG graduate the best in the world. And for consolation, I tried to provide a reason why fate would do this to me of all people and then the answer came.

Work. Tayo Fakiyesi was a workaholic, he breathed his passion for education both home and abroad, office or class, meeting or relaxation and wherever or whenever an idea held sway in his mindset; he would almost subconsciously pause to think through before continuing with the matter at hand. Here was a man at 64 that wouldn’t delegate his work to junior staff, attended to treating class work at midnight and only had a small bit of exercise each day to keep in shape for the same objective; Work. But he is gone now and it’s a year now. I miss him dearly and am pained by his sudden exit but he’s gone.

But what stamps the pain and grief each time his face crossed my mind remains how his legacy left behind has not been emulated in spirit and meaning by the department he worked so hard to revive, reinvent and redefine. Fakiyesi loved to help the students learn and in the process never condemned anyone as incapable of lofty academic achievement except the person in question formally resigned his or her self to such a fate. But the department over which his tenure has H.O.D saw some remarkable changes of academic and relevant nature has made no commitment individually or collectively, formally or informally, religiously or scientifically as it were to surpass the standards of service he set.

I will not bring the details of that in public light but the Department of Economics has and is still disrespecting the dead by not honoring his life by their far from graceful and benevolent attitude to their business; the providing of concentric type heuristic based approaches as a convergent means to effectively derive leading-edge theories and an organic institutional transmission mechanism between the learned and the learned that encourages the globally adopted trend of the philosophical whole-greater-than-sum  process and its products as being the final ends of the educational process.

Professor Tayo Fakiyesi’s death is a huge blow to the faint hope that I have that a new psyche will be instituted in the mass of Nigerians to be committed to a life of purpose, humanity and selfless love for societal progress. He along with the unfortunate victim of the February 23 storm in Lagos made worse by greed and collective unpatriotic attitude of the entire Nigerian society, Pastor Godspower Ekpenyong of St Gregory’s College who incidentally was another former lecturer of mine I encountered in the secondary arena were rays of light dimmed by the severely depressing and defeating dark consciousness of the rest of Nigerians awakened only to greed, self-recognition, egocentric orientations, corruption, tribalism and a laziness to break the limits of endowed potentials for the success of humanity’s ambition that we have a better world as a place to enjoy this ephemeral journey from uncertainty to uncertainty called life.

As the curtain falls on the day that marks one year since your exit from my life, Tayo, with all due respect and love, I am saddened but have decided to console myself by ensuring that my life is nothing short of the same word and elegies that were and are used to describe yours by those who truly understood, appreciated and most of all shared who you were and are.

Goodbye Professor Oluwatayo Fakiyesi.

• • •

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The Power of Choice

Today, we welcome another Guest writer, another lady actually. The ladies are impressive nau… No ulterior motives whatsoever from my part.. 😀

If you missed last week’s “Letter to the Holy Spirit” by Miss Moji though, you are a learner. I indulge you to go check it out as it was mind blowing.

You can view it here —>>> https://damstylee.wordpress.com/2013/02/16/letter-to-the-holy-spirit/

Anyway, today’s article was written by Miss Agoyi Kemisola (@Agoyi_kemisola)

Ever wondered if You had a say in anything you’ve ever done, well, this article is for you. I also consider the post somewhat controversial but then, Its my opinion. *lips sealed*

Enjoy and be Inspired!

• • •

Its your Choice _ Sourced from Google

Its your Choice _ Sourced from Google

The greatest power given to every man on earth is the power of choice.
You can choose to live or choose to die.
You can choose to be for God or choose to be for the world.
You can choose to be on top of the world, you can as well choose to be below it.
You can choose to standout among your peers, you can also choose to blend in with them or be under them.
You can choose to live your life for others, you can also still choose to live it for yourself.
You can choose to be anything in this world (that is, what the world turns you to be) and you can also choose to be whatever ‘YOU WANT’ to be.
Even though life doesn’t always turn out the way we plan it, but you can still choose to stand-up to whatever life presents to you and choose to make the best of it or allow it make the worst of you.
You can choose to fight it or wallow in its inconvenience.
In all this, ONE thing is peculiar and certain…
And That is, No matter what you do,
No matter what you are,
No matter where you are or how you are,
At any point in time of your life…
Because in every situation you find yourself in life, you always have a choice and you choose what you want.
Seriously, there is nothing like ‘I DON’T HAVE A CHOICE’!

So, learn to use THE POWER OF CHOICE well and meaningfully.

You wield it for evil or for good,
You use it wisely or foolishly,
It would always bring its yield fully…
As one of the laws of nature says-
“You will surely reap whatever you sow”,
But also remember…”In multiple folds”

Thanks for reading…
I hope my message was passed across well and fully.

Agoyi Kemisola


• • •

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Letter to the Holy Spirit

Today, we welcome a Guest writer, Miss Moji Ajayi (@ladyingenous).

This was supposed to be posted on the 14th (Val’s day) actually but some technical difficulties caused the delay but then its never too late.

For those of you who missed our Val’s day special, you can see it here  —->>> https://damstylee.wordpress.com/2013/02/14/would-you-be-my-valentine/

Today’s post though is an endearing one, one people really need to see so please comment and share them when you’re done.

Bless! 😀

• • •

There is absolutely nothing special about today but then the world has tagged it someday- Val’s day. I don’t understand what it’s about or why it was tagged so but then it’s to celebrate love. I would normally have said, really? there’s a day to celebrate this?

However, I might not understand the essence of this day being tagged as love’s day but then I understand what love is. I don’t understand it because I have seen so much of it in my world (obviously not) but I understand it because it’s all I see when I see you. Before now I used to try to describe or define what this love is about but I never got a hang of it. I stand this day thinking of you and you alone and then deep in my heart I know what love is. Sweet Holy Spirit I may not be able to boast of how much my love is for you but then I can boast of how much your love is for me.

I remember the days I’ll feel messed up and then I’ll run into my closet, call on you and just cry out my eyes. You will be right there watching me till am done, then you’ll just say these soothing words, “it will be well, I love you”. Immediately, amidst my tears, a bubble of laughter builds up in me and then I’ll burst out laughing. It seems kinda crazy and absurd but then it’s you my love, so am not surprised. I feel silly for crying but then you make me see why I needed to cry. It then became a part of me to just run into my closet, cry, hear you speak those words I love so much and then laugh and smile. There are days I get into trouble and then I just call your name and whisper to you to get me out. All of a sudden, my little whisper to you in time of trouble became my element of escape.

I remember coming to you as a wounded, rejected, inferior and depressed soul. You took me in, wrapped your arms around me and then I could feel my heart and soul begin to heal. “I might not have anyone here on earth” a thought that slips into my head and then a whisper from you, “you are the apple of my eyes and I love you” comes in to smash that thought into pieces. I get drunk and crazy with your love. People look at me and wonder how does she do it. They say, ‘how is she living through this’ but little do they know that this little girl right here is being carried by one sweet, loving and awesome person. You hold my heart and make it impossible for anyone to pierce through.

Sweet Holy Spirit you have my heart and will always have it. I am not all perfect, my make-up gets smeared, sometimes I look bloated, my hair gets messy, I am sometimes clumsy but then, I stop to think of you and then I see the beauty and perfection in me. I always want to hold your hand cause I feel perfectly safe with you. I love you sweet Holy Spirit with the soul of my heart (don’t even know what that means). I love you not because I have the power to but I love you because you have given me the power to. How ironic is our love relationship. You love me and at the same time give me the power to love. I mess up and run away and then you draw me back into your arms.

This, my love, is one relationship I’ll never trade for anything. it’s the relationship that will last for all eternity. You will remain my first, one and only.

Yours in love,



• • •

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