Join the fight against Abuse


My head’s spinning, and I can feel my heart pounding against the walls of my chest. It’s louder and more intense now. I can even hear it and feel it in my stomach. I think my heart just dropped into my stomach!

My hands are shaking uncontrollably, causing the blood-stained knife in my right hand to drip on the freshly polished white tiles.

I remember how it all happened vividly, as clear as day.


It was in the large and empty house with the gateman sleeping in the boys quarters.

I had invited her over so we could settle our feud like mature women we were supposed to be, but I was too furious to be calm.

How could Amanda say such nasty things about me, her best bud? She gathered those monks she called friends and told tales about me, claiming I sent nude pictures of myself to her boyfriend. Me! It’s not as if the boyfriend is handsome sef… with that his enormous head. My rep, my dignity.. all in the gutters.

My head was steaming hot. I walked briskly downstairs to the kitchen with Amanda pleading her cause behind me.

I opened the door to the kitchen and scanned the room. I needed something suitable for the job. My eyes caught a shining knife with a white handle, Perfect!, I thought to myself.

Without any hesitation, or further thought, I went for it, I did it.

Amanda screamed.

I had stabbed mum’s favorite jar of tomato puree, shattering the kitchen counter in the process and even causing mum’s finest and most expensive china to fall to the ground with each one shattering into pieces as it came in contact with the ground. I had to vent my anger somewhere and mum’s jar of tomato puree had to go for it, I couldn’t bring myself to stab Amanda.

But why had she screamed? She had gone back upstairs into the room when I didn’t pay attention to her plea

I raced up the stairs as fast as I could. I got to my room, the door was locked.


A minute passed, I was still banging the door but no response all I could hear was Amanda screaming. It occurred to me that I could get the spare key. So I raced to my mum’s room and rummaged through her safe and found the spare key.

I went back hurriedly to my room and fixed the key into the key hole.

Shit!” I exclaimed. The other key was at the other side of the door. What was I to do? I was by no means a macho woman. I earnestly prayed for a miracle. I tried again and, ‘click’ the door opened.

What I saw startled me and sent shivers down my spine. The gateman I assumed to be asleep was physically abusing my best friend. She was being raped!

I guess the foolish man was too engrossed in his deeds to notice my entry.

I grabbed the knife I had dropped in the floor in my attempt to open the door few minutes ago, and then, I did what I had seen in movies and read in novels over and over again.

I passed the knife with all the energy and force in me, through his back, very close to his spinal cord.

Amanda had passed out, so I watched the disgusting man groan with so much fear and trembling in me until he passed out too.

Even if I was mad at her, I still loved her no matter what and I didn’t mind watching this man’s death.

I grabbed my cell phone and grabbed my mum’s number and in no time, she was here with the police.

“I’m going to jail”, I thought. I was scared to death, but if that was the price I had to pay to save a life, I was ready for jail.


So many things were involved here: anger, abuse, an attempt to save a life.

Physical and sexual have become very rampant in the society in this present day. Funny thing is, females are not the only victims, males also are. I’ve heard of situations where young males were raped. It seems like being gay is what’s trending now and this is very disheartening.

Nobody should be put through abuse. It doesn’t only affect an individual physical but psychologically and mentally as well. We need to fight against abuse of all sorts.

We should avoid getting ourselves into the web of danger. Learning to speak up is very important. When suspicious movements and irregularities are noticed, someone who can help should be alerted- a parent, an older sibling, your religious group.


If by chance you have been a victim of abuse one way or the other, you have to start by forgiving yourself and forgiving the person who abused you.

Trust God to make you clean and whole again and enjoy the rest of your life.


Let’s all fight against abuse today. Look out for a neighbor and help someone in danger (not necessarily killing the culprit).



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Tofunmi Onaolapo



Top 10(+1) Reasons Why I LOVE/HATE My Country

Sourced from Google.

Sourced from Google.

Yes, am back again. And so are you!
You’re welcome *bows*

I bet you’re wondering why the title has both love and hate in it. I myself am a bit confused.

I wish I could do what that man in the picture above is doing but its hard. My perception of this country is confusing because it changes everyday. This minute, its dwindling, the other minute, its skyrocketing.
You see, in this great country of mine *drum rolls*Nigeria“, there is a common problem and that is confusion. I’m even confused as to if I actually like or hate it.

So, I decided to write a list. My plan was to write just Ten but one popped up at the last minute. 😀

As much as this list would make it seem like I was unserious when I wrote it, I actually was serious.

I hope I don’t cause any trouble with this;

Sha, Enjoy!


1. I love/hate my country because it is home to the happiest people in the world. (I can say this anywhere and to anybody).
They have no atom of time consciousness in them.
Where else would you find students playing Fifa the night before their most important exam or women spending 1hour in front of the mirror when they are already late for a VERY IMPORTANT meeting.

2. The country supports its citizens in making hay while the sun is shining. If you make a mistake and sleep through the period the sun is shining, PHCN would make sure you get punished when night comes.

3. Okada! ^_^
No matter how much it is unsafe and wrong to travel on an okada, I still vote it the best form of transport for Lagos roads except you have a mad ride sha.

4. Team Nigeria’s performance in the ongoing olympic games holding in UK. We’ve shown that “Average” is not our portion by performing woefully. I wonder if this makes me love or hate the country.

5. Gala and La casera!!! This combo is just classic! Please tell me anywhere else you would find this “together”. *waits for answer*. Told you! Its only in Nigeria!
Unfortunately, you can’t drive and eat in lagos again.
😦 ……. Another reason why I love/hate my country.

6. No Natural Disaster has ever been recorded in Nigeria except a minor tremor in the west in the 70s. No other country anywhere can boast of this.
This is the original “God’s own country“.

7. Tribal Beef. I tire for my country on this matter. Don’t get me wrong, I aint a tribalist but most people are and its frustrating.
Yorubas do not like Ibos (I mean the south nd east), Ibos detest Hausas, and both Yorubas and Ibos dislike Hausas. Seriously! My childhood dream was that my wife would be Ibo, dosent seem like that would work anymore. 😦

8. Boko Haram. I wonder why this sect is still running sef.

9. Ehm…em… Getting this tenth one is so hard………

Got it! GSM!!. Actually, Blackberry..
I totally love the fact that OBJ (if you don’t know who OBJ is, find out how jumping from a skyscraper feels) brought it to Nigeria, life would have been hell without phones but must we bastardize it.
Tweeting on the road, Calling while driving, Pinging on okada; my fellow nigerians (youths especially) have found out diverse ways to put their lives in danger.
But its fun right? 😉
If your answer was yes, I’m sorry for you.

10. Last but definetly not the least, Patience GEJ. This is the first First lady that has been so passionately involved in the affairs of this country. We’ve seen it, we’ve heard it, we’ve even read it. She’s everywhere!
Whether it makes me love or hate the country, I’ll keep to myself before I put myself in trouble.

+1. To be truthful, there is no “+1”; I just felt like adding it. X_x

So, that’s my list.

—-> Now your turn……

Why do you love your country?
Or perhaps, you hate it. Any reason(s) why?

Share them below. Maybe its just one, perhaps 10 or more. :O.
Just make sure you share some of them at least even if you can’t share all.

Thanks for reading.
Please share this if you liked it. 🙂

Team Nigeria

Dee 2

The long awaited final(?) sequel to the Dee series!
Now, this is what you call long awaited,but trust me, its worth every second. 😉

I hope you remember Dee;
The wonderful girl that somewhat hated men, yea, I’m sure you do. To those of you who don’t know her or just remember a bit of her story, you should read it here:
I won’t advise you to continue reading this one if you have no idea what the other one was about, so I’ll chill for you.


OK, Now we can start!

About five months ago, I opted to play the role of a love doctor in Dee’s life. I had to because she was emotionally hospitalized and was going to die soon; emotionally that is.
So I huffed and puffed till I could breathe no more but my dear dee was as adamant as a statue. Her perception of men remained intact and even I, Damstylee would not change that.

So I brought in notable doctors whose names I won’t divulge to assist me in this life risking surgery and we laid our hands and put skills gathered over several years of experience into practice. And as we bored into her skin and body, we tried to connect those parts that would open the world of our patient to one of love and trust.

Little by little, dee’s anti bodies awakened from their slumber and joined us in this struggle. Two weeks which seemed like forever passed in the theatre before I stopped the operation.
Dee was saved!
Her heart, happy with the new development was bursting with joy and pumped liters and liters of love through her veins and arteries to other parts of her body.

And then, we stopped.
Stopped talking, stopped motivating, stopped advising and left her to find her feet herself in this world that detests love and trust so much. She was left alone to be a (wo)MAN and we forgot about the operation. Case closed.

That’s where my story ends……………………… Or so I thought until I received a call from Dee on skype recently. Obviously very happy, she narrated how she met Mr Right; how he swept her off her feet; how he opened her world to a relationship built on love and trust and on and on and on.

I still smile anytime I remember how happy she sounded that day, but then I still recall the look on my face when she dropped the call. The same look I get when I hear testimonies from girls on their new relationships. Can’t help but answer some questions;
Is the real world worth trusting?
Is this a true love story or are looking at one where the guy is an opportunist?

I’ve chosen not to dwell on these questions though and hope for the best. Any way it turns out, I hope she ends up happy.
I just hope I don’t end up writing a tragic “Dee 3”

Thank you for taking time to read this. 🙂

Contrary to what you might think, this story is not fiction and the character is actually very real. The medical operation is purely metaphorical in nature though.
I do want your opinions on these;

Would you want a “Dee 3” or would you rather prefer I stopped here? Remember the circumstances that would warrant me writing one.
Please share your comments and replies to this question.

Thank you again.