Joshua Fela – Episode 6

Joshua Fela | Damstylee_Original picture sourced from Google

Joshua Fela | Damstylee_Original picture sourced from Google

Click the links below to read older episodes

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Episode 4

Episode 5


The newscaster gestured and smiled intermittently on the 42” flat screen TV. He watched her report the Boko Haram killings in Bauchi and was amazed at how composed she was.

“Funmi yea?” He said to himself. He had to meet her somehow. She would be a milf alright but who cared? His father’s connections would get him close.

Ronke turned beside him and yawned.

“Hey darling.”

He looked in her direction and smiled. Mission accomplished. In a record 16 hours.

In your face Nath.

“Last night was awesome.” She said when he didn’t reply.

“Yes, it was.” He replied and returned his gaze to the TV.

Why wouldn’t it be awesome, you just had sex with the son of a senator in the most expensive room in Sheraton. Hell yea, it’s gonna be awesome.

“What’s on your mind?” She asked and tugged at his hand. Her finger ran along the panther on his arm and he fought the goose bumps that were threatening to erupt from beneath his skin.

“Nothing.” He yanked his hand free from her and increased the distance on the bed between them.

“I love your tattoo.”

“Who doesn’t?… Do you want one?”

“Nah… my dad would kill me.”

“You’re still forming daddy’s girl. Come on, ditch that old man and move on with life. You’re a big girl now. Has he ever stepped into Sheraton talk less of spending a night in its most expensive suite?” She sat up until she was at eye level with him.

“Take that back.”

“Take what back?” He asked.

“What you just said about my father?”

“Why? Did I lie?” He could afford to be arrogant now. The challenge was set and he had won. No time for Mr Nice Guy anymore. He grinned at her and she hissed.

“You’re a fool and I’m a jerk for trusting you.” The doorbell rang as soon as she was done talking and they heard the hotel attendant’s voice through the door.

“Room Service.”

They turned to look at each other and debated with their eyes who was going to get the door. She lost and stood up to go get their breakfast. Tope watched her backside as she walked away and hissed.

“Been there; done that.” He returned his attention to Funmi as she rounded up on the 8’ o clock news. His attention is cut short when Ronke screamed and a set of chinas shattered on the ceramic tiled floor.

“Ronke.” He called out. “Are you all right?” He got up from the bed, strapped a towel around his waist and checked for a pair of bathroom slippers in one of the drawers.

“Tope.” He heard his name and paused in his search. Puzzled, he turned around to see Josh poised with a dagger. The dagger had blood dripping from it and he didn’t need to ask whose blood it was. The grotesque sight scared him and he retreated towards the balcony.

“Josh… what are you doing here? God, I’m dreaming.”

Josh looked at the knife and looked back at him. “What does it look like?”

“But..but youre dead.”

“Really? Well, we will see about that.” He approached Tope amidst the wails of the latter and a swipe of the dagger left blood splattered on the drapes and window pane.


Nath jerked up from sleep, looked around the hospital ward and screamed. The nurse on duty ran into the ward. Her countenance was frantic and her breasts bounced on her chest as her heart beat accelerated. She spent the next few minutes calming him down and preventing him from removing the drip tube in his vein.

“What happened?” She asked with a native Ibo accent after the heart monitor recorded a close to normal heart beat rate.

“Nothing; I just need to get out of here.”

She caught him looking below her neck and cleared her throat on purpose. He realised he had been found out and avoided eye contact with her.

“Please discharge me.” He said after the awkward atmosphere had dissipated.

“I’m sorry I can’t.” She replied.


“It’s only the doctor that can.”

“Then get me the doctor.” His voice was raised now and other workers peeped to see if all was well in the ward.

“I’ve been here for three days and I’m totally fine.”

“Okay, I’ll get him immediately I’m done. You don’t have to be rude though.” He said nothing. She examined the frequency on the heart monitor for the last time and noticed him staring at her again.

“You really don’t have anything else to look at but my breast abi?” He shut his eyes in shame not for staring but for being caught and turned to face the other direction.

“I’m sorry”. He said without looking at her. “Please just get the doctor for me. This place creeps me out.”

“He’ll be here soon.”

He opened his eyes to peek at her backside as she walked out of the dorm. At the entrance she stopped suddenly and turned around. He quickly shut his eyes and looked to the other direction but she had caught him again.

“Mr Nathaniel Bassey.” She said in measured tones.
“Stop staring at me or you will have to answer to my fiancé.”

He nodded his head and poked out his tongue in her direction when she had left the room.

Fiancé kor.


Hours later, Nath stumbled into his dormitory. He dragged himself to his room and collapsed on his bed. His joints felt weak and he regretted leaving the hospital before he was perfectly alright.

News of Tope’s escapades was the in thing on campus.

Everyone was talking about it; The couple. The Aston Martin. Sheraton. The sex.

Josh wasn’t around and he hadn’t seen him since he dropped him at the hospital three days ago. He was sure Josh had heard the news and he could bet he was devastated. The love of his life just got scored on by the aristocrat of the school. Who wouldn’t be pissed? This was an example of a mature form of bullying.

He was pissed himself and he barely liked her. He needed to clarify something. Everybody had been eager to gist him about every other thing but nobody mentioned the sex. Maybe they kept that part of their escapades secret but why would she stoop so low? He wondered.

He picked up his phone and dialled her number; it rang a couple of times before she answered it.

“Hello.” Her alto voice filled his ear drums almost relieving him of his anger.


“Nath. Hey darling. I heard you were hospitalised. Are you okay now?”


“Are you back?”


“Good. Myself, Chloe and Shade would stop by tomorrow to say hi. I hope you would be okay with us coming.”

“Ronke.” His stern voice shocked her and she took a long pause before she answered.


“Did you sleep with him?”

“Sleep with who?”

“Please, don’t play dumb with me. The whole school is raving at how you two had a good time three days ago.”

“See me see wahala. So you called me just to accuse me of sleeping with Tope. Are you crazy? Iru arifin wo niyen?” (What kind of disrespectful attitude is that?)

“Well, the whole school thinks you did.”

“And you believed them. Geez, I’m disappointed. How do you expect me to make a fool of myself and sleep with Tope? That dumb f**k that thinks the whole world revolves around him.” She waited for his response and when she knew it wasn’t forthcoming, she continued in a much calmer tone; “Nath, I only followed just to help him waste his money; I can never sleep with Tope.”

He was convinced it was all a dream now, except she was a pretty good actress.

“I hope you’re saying the truth else some people would be more disappointed than I am.”

“People like who? You mean our lecturers?”

“No. Josh.”



“Nath dear, I think you should see a doctor.” He heard the pity in her voice and it irritated him but he needed to be sure first.


“Because I think something is wrong with you. You keep talking about Josh, but Josh died two years ago.” He bit his lower lip and held back the part of him that screamed in his head; she’s a Bastard. Normal Nath won’t let her go scot-free.

“Ronke, I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. You need to see a doctor.” Now, she’s pushing it. The voice in his head said.

“I said I’m fine.”

“No, it must be a head…”

“What is wrong with you? Why does everybody keep saying I’m nuts? If you want to kill Josh in your minds, do so. Just don’t ruin it for me.”

The front door opened and Josh walked into the room. He had a mouthful of Gala in his mouth and was downing it with a bottle of La Casera.

“Hey.” He greeted Josh. “Did you hear that? I just greeted the man you pronounced dead.” Her emotions gave way and she started sobbing but he didn’t care, he couldn’t care; Martian was in control now.

“This is the same guy that said hi to you in class last week but no, he is too dead to you. It’s you guys that need to see a doctor. If you can’t see Josh and I can, why haven’t you considered the possibility that you’re the crazy one? You’re claiming not crazy but you followed Tope to a hotel. Now I believe the rumours, he probably did sleep with you. Ashewo oshi. Thanks for ruining my day you hear. Goodbye.”

He hung up and threw his phone on the bed. Part of him felt remorseful and that he was too harsh but Martian wanted none of it. He tried to fight the beast but his dizziness finally gave way and he dozed off.


The lights in the dormitory went out and the darkness made him wake up. Everywhere was oddly quiet and that was strange for a male dormitory. He searched for his phone on the bed and when he did, put on the torch application and shone it towards Josh’s direction. His bed was empty. He listened to hear if he was in the loo but he heard nothing. It was around midnight.
Where could Josh have gone?

He noticed the door was slightly ajar and stood up to shut it but thought about it and went out instead. The corridors were pitch-black and the moon was nowhere to be found so the courtyards provided not much of a lighting. He strolled across the corridor on the fourth floor, his phone his only source of light.

His phone rang and he looked at the caller; Mom. Her picture smiled at him and he smiled when he remembered the day the picture was taken; his matriculation ceremony. He answered the call.


“Nathaniel.” She sounded scared.

“Yes mom, are you okay?”

“Yes I am. Please go back to your room.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Just go to your room, please.” She pleaded. The call cut off before he could say more and when he tried calling back, the automated machine voice said her number was switched off.

But she just called me now. This MTN people sha

He shrugged his shoulders and proceeded to return to his room as she had said. As he approached his door, he saw someone coming.

“Who is there?” He switched on the torch again and saw that the intruder was Tope.

“Tope, what are you doing here?” He moved closer to Tope and Josh’s face appeared behind Tope’s.

“Josh, I’ve been looking for you. What’s happening here? He noticed the groin area of Tope’s trousers was wet. He shone the light directly at it and saw the liquid was blood.

“Tope, are you okay?” Nath asked. “You’re bleeding.” All he got back was an icy stare from both Josh and Tope.
“Why are you guys not talking? Seriously, what’s going on here? Where is everybody?”

He tried to grab Tope, but his hand went right through him and he hit the floor with a thud.
The impact made him wake up. His hands and back were sweaty and his chest heaved up and down with his laborious breathing. The lights were on and he had never been this grateful to PHCN.

What kind of stupid dreams am I having? He asked himself.

There was a lot of noise coming from outside his room. He overhead boys screaming from the courtyard and stepped out to see what the bustle was for. The first person he met outside his door was Lekan and he inquired what all the fuss was about.

“Tope is dead.”

“Ehn, which Tope?”

“Our Tope now.” He hurried alongside Lekan to keep up with the latter’s pace while still inquiring about the incident.

“How did he die?”

“I don’t know, some said he jumped downstairs from the top floor while others said he was murdered.” Lekan replied.

“Shit. Murdered ke? Who would murder anybody in this dorm?”

“Well, when you are found at the base of a building and your d**k has been chopped off, it’s safe to say someone killed you, and you of all people should know Tope admires himself too much to kill himself.” Nath stopped in his tracks and watched Lekan disappear down the flight of stairs.

His d**k was chopped off; the dream, the blood in his groin, Josh.
What the hell is wrong with me?

To be continued next week Tuesday


Thanks for reading.

Where are LE INCREDIBLES?! Do drop a comment or your views below, it will be really appreciated.

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Mike Dammy
Ff @damstylee on twitter
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Joshua Fela – Episode 5

Joshua Fela | Damstylee_Original picture sourced from Google

Joshua Fela | Damstylee_Original picture sourced from Google

Click the links below to read older episodes

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Episode 4

Nike stood up and walked towards the duo.

“What do you mean by he is dead?” She asked them.

“He died in a car accident in August 2011” Shade replied. She sounded like she could burst into tears any minute; “the thirteenth to be precise. I remember it well because I loved him.”

“Hold it. Hold it. Let me get this right… The boy you saw today died two years ago?”


“And you loved him?”

“Yes.” Her voice had become mere whispers but Ronke held her by the shoulders and comforted her.

“So what you’re saying now is that your dead lover is alive.” She paused to think and suddenly asked; “were you guys dating?”


A puzzled look appeared on Nike’s face.
“You’re confusing me now, you loved him and he loved you back, yet you were not going out. How does that make any sense?”

“It does, because he didn’t love me back. He loved Ronke.” She turned to look at Ronke but Ronke looked away.

“Aha! I knew it!” Nike said in excitement. “Now, this feels like desperate housewives but this time, in real life.” Her eyes shone in glee and she pointed her fore finger at Shade. “You; you liked him while Josh liked you, Ronke. And then Mr Lover boy dies in an accident two years ago on the thirteenth of August, the exact day Nath tried to kiss you Ronke this year.”

Ronke and Shade looked at each other and froze. “That’s true.” They chorused.

“So you see girls, now we have a story to sell to Wale Adenuga. Dope right?”

Both girls turned to her and hissed.
“Why are we even listening to you? It’s not as if you have a serious bone in your entire body.”

Nike opened her mouth to reply but Ronke’s ringtone interrupted her. The Techno Phantom shook with each vibration and the ringtone; Personally by P Square filled the entire room.

She picked the phone, looked at the caller’s name, hissed and turned to face the others.

“Who is it?” Nike asked.


“Which Tope?”

“The one in my course.”

“The son of the senator?! The guy that drives that red Murano on campus… Wow, why is he calling you?” Nike was excited already.

“How am I supposed to know?” Ronke answered. “Am I not the one he is calling?”


“Hello. Is this Ronke?”


“Okay. This is Tope, the one in your course; the guy that drives the Murano.”

“Yes I know.” She was irritated by his arrogance and fought every bit of her to cut the call.

“Okay, cool. I need to see you.”

“Err… why?”

“I can’t tell you now. I promise to do so immediately we get to where we are going.”

“Where are we going?”

Her heart skipped a bit at the mention of Sheraton.

“Sheraton hotel?” Ronke she asked. She made sure her voice was louder than normal so it would catch the attention of the others. It did. All of them except Chloe who was dead asleep rushed to her side to eavesdrop on the call.

“Yes, Sheraton hotel. I’ve set up a reservation for a table for two. We should be there before seven.”

Hmm… Ronke knew she wasn’t missing this for the world but like every ‘good girl’, she had to play hard to get.

“You should have told me before.” She replied with a stern voice. “I’m kinda busy now.” Nike shot her two thumbs up and the three of them giggled.

“Well, I know I should have. I was going to tell you in class today but you weren’t around and my plan was to make it a surprise; you know, treat the most beautiful girl in the entire school to a first class treatment in Nigeria’s finest hotel.”

She covered the mouthpiece with her free hand and nodded to the girls. He really was good; no wonder girls fell for him. Shade urged her to continue the call. The hurt she felt minutes ago was non-existent now.

“Alright, I’ll see what I can do. What time are you coming to pick me?”

“Me? I’m not coming to pick you.”

“What? Am I supposed to walk down to yo…?”

“My driver is.” He interrupted her.

“What do you mean by your driver?”

“It’s a dinner for two in Sheraton Ronke, not some random restaurant. I was thinking we make it a real dinner like the type you see in foreign movies and my Murano won’t quite fit the bill, so I sent for my driver at home and he’s bringing my Aston Martin.”

“Your what?

“My Aston Martin Vanquish; It’s my latest car. Haven’t even seen it yet, it arrived from America two weeks ago.” He waited for her reply and then continued. “So, my driver is coming to pick you up and then come and get me too. Is six fine by you?”


“Alright, see you by six then.”

“Yes.” She couldn’t understand anything anymore; she was floating on cloud nine and all her replies to his questions automatically became yes.

“I hope you understood all I’ve said.”


“Do me a favour; wear something sexy.”


“Alright then, bye.”

“Bye.” She waited for him to drop the call and screamed. The girls managed to calm her down and she told them everything they didn’t hear clearly themselves while eavesdropping.

“The guy is boxed up o!” Nike commented. “Aston Martin of life. Ronke darl, you have hit this jackpot”

“Yes o!” Ronke replied. “Now, let me get what I’m going to wear.”


The year was 2011. It is mid-august and the rainy season was beginning to pack up and vacate for the dry season. All was quiet and calm on campus that evening. Most students just finished their lectures for the day and some were headed for their dormitories while the rest hurried to the cafeteria for a meal or a quick snack.

Back at the college of science, Nath waited behind while Josh talked to Shade. She giggled and blushed at every statement he made and a bystander would have thought Josh was a comedian. Nath found it amusing however. To him, watching Shade talk to Josh was a favourite pastime he always enjoyed.

Why she wouldn’t just tell him she liked him? He wondered. It was so glaring, everybody knew but so was Josh’s love for Ronke. That was a worse case. Even the lecturers knew poor Josh was desperately in love with Ronke but in his case, Love was blind and a big coward!
If she fell for him every time he stared and ogled at her, she would be in hell about now.

He watched Josh round up his conversation with Shade and wave at Ronke who was seated at the far corner in the hall. She waved back and smiled. Nath quickly turned away to avoid Josh see the faces he was making. They could have been a cute couple if only his best friend gathered up some slack and walked up to her.

Josh joined him and they walked out of the lecture hall. The sun was still up, few clouds were in sight and it was 5pm; perfect time for a journey Nath devised.

“You know you should have gone to kiss her goodbye or something.”

“Huh? Kiss who? Shade?”

“Shade kor. Is it Shade you love?”

“Oh Ronke… forget that side.”

“Okay o, your loss not mine. Oya let’s go to where we were going.”

“Go where?” Josh asked. Nath sighed and punched him on his shoulder.

“Don’t tell me you forgot. “

“Forgot what?” Josh kept a straight face while he spoke. He wasn’t sure how long he could keep it up but so far it got Nath frustrated, he was ready to keep it up forever.

“You’re just nuts. This is exactly why I…”

“I remember jor.” Josh replied and laughed. “You should see your face when you’re frustrated. You look like a combo of Shrek and Bill Cosby.”



“Sha lets go.”

“Nath, don’t you think it’s too late. Ikeja is not close to Akoka.”

“We will be back soon, I promise. And it’s Thursday; there is never traffic on Thursday.”

“Are you sure about that?” Josh asked reluctantly. His mum had warned him about travelling late and especially with ‘Danfos.’ “Nath, can we just go tomorrow?”

“No Josh, If you’re not going, no P. I’ll see you later.” He started to walk towards the entrance of the school and Josh stood there looking at the rear of his best friend retreating with each step.

“This guy is going to get us killed and he’ll now be forming” He muttered.

“Ode, wait jor.” He said aloud and ran to join him…


Nath woke up from sleep and sat up. He just had the same dream he had last night. It had become a regular since they had the accident and he suffered the injury to his head.

He looked to see Josh who is peacefully sleeping in the corner.
Thank God we survived that accident.

He never wanted to imagine how life would have felt if Josh had not recovered from the coma. He would have…

There was a knock on the door and he stood up to go answer it. He opened it to see Lekan bent over and panting like he had just run a cross country.

“What?” He asked without letting him catch his breath.

“Have you seen tope?” Lekan managed to ask.

“What’s wrong with these guys?” Nath mutters under his breath. “How would you come to my room, knock my door and then ask me if I have seen Tope? Does that make any sense to you? Shouldn’t I be asking you? Aren’t you his bodyguard?”

Lekan opened his mouth amazed and pondered on which question he would answer first. He said something in Yoruba and later switched to English;

“Calm down o, are we fighting? Tope just said I should come and tell you to come see him and his girlfriend in his new ride.”

“Girlfriend? When did Tope have a girlfriend?”

“It’s Ronke.”

“Which Ronke?”

“The same one you know now. The one you almost kissed last week. I heard he’s taking her to Sheraton.”
Nath cursed and slammed the door in Lekan’s face.

“That guy is a bastard!” He kept his voice low so it wouldn’t wake Josh. “We just talked today and the idiot is already working on it. I bet he started planning before he came to meet me.” He collapsed on his bed and considered waking Josh to tell him.

He finally resorted to telling Josh and as he was about to tap Josh, he heard a knock on the door.

“Who the hell is that? I hope it’s not you Lekan because I’ll shoot you!” He heard no response, grinned and Josh turned to look at him.

“What? Why did you wake me?” Josh asked.

“I just wanted to tell you that…” the door swung open and when Nath saw who was at the doorway, he felt a sharp pain at the back of his neck. His vision became blurry and he passed out.


Nath opened his eyes but the bright lights directly overhead irritated him and it took him a while to get used to them. He scanned the room and saw his mother talking to a doctor at the far corner beside the door. He tried to call her but his mouth was numb and no sound came out. The doctor however saw him struggling and rushed to his side alongside his mom.

“Just stay still, I’ll be right back.” The doctor said.
He managed to ask his mother where he was and she explained to him how he fainted back at school and a friend brought him here.

“It was Josh.”

“Which Josh?”

“Joshua Fela, my friend. He brought me here.” His mother started sobbing and she rushed to get the doctor. They came back together and the doctor examined his eyes with a tiny flash light.

“We have to run another CT scan. If my presumptions are right, the fainting or whoever he saw might have caused another haemorrhage; and if that is true, his former condition might have gotten worse.”

“What condition?” His mother asked.

“The Capgras Syndrome. Didn’t you just tell me the last thing he said he saw was his dead friend.”

“Dead friend… you mean Josh?”

“Yes.” The doctor answered.

“Josh is not dead o; he was sleeping in the room before what happened.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was talking to Josh and another Josh entered the room. This one was much older, had beards and pimples.”

“So there were two Joshs’. ”


The doctor looked at his mother as if to say ‘I told you so’ and left to get ready for the CT scan.

“Nath, my darling…” his mother said. “Josh is dead; he didn’t survive the accident.”

“No mom, he isn’t. We have been together since the accident.” Her sobbing increased and she held his hand to her mouth.

“Nath, no. he’s not.”

The doctor came back with some nurses and other doctors and he was wheeled to the MRI department of the hospital, his mother followed closely and did not let go of his hand until they got to the room where the CT scanner was. She was asked to wait outside and she reluctantly agreed.

Nath looked at the CT scanner in the distance and chuckled. It looked like something Disney character; Tony Stark would own if he was real. His view of it however got blocked when a nurse came to administer anaesthesia on him. Immediately, his vision became blurry and his body felt numb. He struggled to keep his eyes open but the same nurse held him and told him to be calm. He obeyed her and blacked out seconds later.

To be continued next week Tuesday.


Thanks for reading.
Do drop a comment or your views below, it will be really appreciated.

You can subscribe to the blog (at the right column to follow the series, if you are viewing with your mobile, just scroll to the end of this page to subscribe)

Mike Dammy
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Letter to GEJ

This letter is fictional, the motive isn’t.


Hey Johnny!
Sorry Sir, where are my manners?
Good day President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan

What’s up? How are you doing? I hope everything is fine up there. I mean Aso Rock or wherever those journalists say you live.

How’s Dame? Not heard from her in quite a while. I hope she’s alright although I doubt if that’s what I’m hoping for.

Why so mean? You ask.

It’s because I’m still paying for her atrocious murders to the great language of the queen. Now everyone thinks I’m a born assassin all because of her. Last week, a white business man said he won’t discuss business with me without getting an interpreter. Over the phone o! What’s the relationship between spoken English and business?

Hell NO! I replied him. Why do I need a reporter? I’m 5’11; black, confident and I can speak fluent English. Imagine what he told me; he said that’s exactly the problem and curious me had to ask him why. Thinking about it now, I wish I didn’t. His reply was this and I quote;

“If your number one’s citizen (he means you)‘s wife can’t, I sincerely doubt you can. And to rub salt on the injury, he added; “from my experience, wherever the biggest baboon leads, all the other baboons follow.” Sir, I hope you see what he did there, but that’s by the way. That’s not why I’m writing this letter.

How are the ‘men’ from the senate and House of Reps. I would be damned if I don’t ask after them. I have been watching their meetings of recent and that’s when it hit me; their meeting house or whatever it’s called is inappropriate for their activities. They barely get enough weapons to weave and throw at each other when they go all rouge. I say we put them in a very big ring and hide gloves, knives maybe even rocket launchers in different compartments so it’ll be like unreal tournament or death race. That will be fun yea?
I know you understand what I’m saying. Give them an habitat that will make them comfortable, send them to the gym, let them wear battle suits for meetings like star trek and the ones that have bulging stomachs can dress like them Spartacus or those guys in 300.

What am I saying?

My kind is the future of tomorrow. At least that’s what you tell us every time but isn’t it time for the future yet? Developed countries have soared because they have given their youth a chance. Why can’t the future be now? Why can’t you let those old men kill themselves? Apparently they enjoy fighting. So don’t stop them. In fact, encourage them. My mum told me if I had told her I wanted to be a musician, she would have supported me, but I know she’s bluffing. She has seen how ‘good’ most of our musicians are, she most definitely was joking. So if our senators and members of the house like fighting, encourage them. Maybe when they wipe each other out, we won’t have to resort to the method the Ghanaians employed and wipe them out ourselves.

Now for my letter’s main purpose;
But before I rush into it, how are the kids. I hope they are having fun in their schools abroad. Or have they finished? That’ll be cool. Four or five straight years in the university without any hitch. I bet they are glad they are out of school and that the government over there made sure the school and the lecturers were at peace. Do you see what I just did there; I just glided into the ASUU strike issue without you knowing. Same way Boko ***** did it. You really should work on your defenses.

Bros J, what is happening to my education? Your children are lounging wherever they are, and I’m doing countdown here. By the way, its 42 days already, I hope you’re happy. ASUU said they wanted 92 billion or whatever, can’t you talk to them or pay them or do anything? My life is at stake here! But then do you care, your children and those of your counterparts, maybe even the children of the ASUU guys representing us are in their various schools abroad. You pay their school fees and buy exorbitant houses, suites and cars for them while my education is on hold and I’m left to counting days as they flow by.
I hope this is not a dirty scheme to make sure those old men we spoke about earlier stay in power. If it is, my God is watching you o!

I don’t even know how to put this anymore. My friends in Covenant and Babcock are mocking me already. I’m in my final year and I’ve spent six years already in my school but they’ve spent their respective four or five years and yet we lie to ourselves that federal universities are better than private universities. How can they be better if they don’t even run? My juniors in secondary school are catching up, my lecturers are broke and I am fed up.

You swore to do everything in your power with the well being of the country in mind. I hope you remember every word of your swearing in because if I don’t get you myself, my God will.

“Federal University Graduate” Wannabe

p.s. Sorry I didn’t add “faithfully or sincerely after the “yours” in the final greeting. My English teacher is on strike so he didn’t teach me but you already know that, don’t you?


Thanks for reading.
Do drop a comment or your views below, it will really be appreciated.

You can subscribe to the blog (at the right column to follow the series, if you are viewing with your mobile, just scroll to the end of this page to subscribe)

Mike Dammy
Ff @damstylee on twitter
Add 269EF55B on BBM


    Download “MUSIC IN SESSION

    Music in Session_JswissMusic in Session

    Music in session is a mixtape by Jswiss and Nonso.
    Jswiss is a talented rapper and Nonso an upcoming singer,rapper and producer.

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Joshua Fela

Joshua Fela – Episode 4

Joshua Fela | Damstylee _ Original picture sourced from google

Joshua Fela | Damstylee _ Original picture sourced from google


The bronze felt door knob shuddered and the whole class halted the frenzy. After much struggle, the door whisked open and they chorused;

“Lover B…!” They stopped in their stride when Tope appeared through the door. His massive frame almost covered the entirety of the door way and he looked on in excitement.

“Is it my birthday or something?” He asked.

“Sit down Tope.” Chloe replied disappointed while some others mumbled incoherent words.

“Close the door too.” Mohammed, a light skinned Fulani indigene added and Tope shut the door behind him.

“What’s happening?” Tope asked him.

“We want to surprise Nathaniel. Didn’t you get the bc?”


“Okay. We are screaming ‘lover boy’ when he enters, so get ready”

“Why? What did he do?”

Mohammed stared at him. A single styptic blink told Tope he shouldn’t have asked that.

“Are you not a student of this school?” Tope looked on lost. He tried to maintain his composure and maintain the eye contact but he feared he might lose it. He however was lucky. Mohammed gave up on his stare.

“He almost kissed Ronke on Saturday.” He said and switched his gaze to the door.

“Huh? Which Ronke?”

“What other Ronke do you know?” Mohammed answered without breaking his gaze. He answered before Tope could speak.

“Ronke Ogah. The same one that has been in the same course with you for four years yet you don’t know her.”

“How is th..tha..that..po..possi..possible?” Tope stammered. Blood rushed to his head and he wondered why. Ronke should be his. She is the finest girl in the school, how come he never thought of asking her out? And now, Nath wants to get in his way.

“Is he mad? How dare he?” Mohammed shook because of the sudden outbursts.

“Are you guys nuts? That small boy kissed the finest girl in the school and you want to congratulate him?”

“Ehen… how is that your business?” It was Chiamaka that spoke. Her petite frame, big eyes and geeky spectacles were a sharp contrast to Tope’s well shaped muscles and 6’2 height. He chuckled in confidence and advanced on her.

“See, if I slap you eh, you will think it’s a trailer that hit you.”
She swerved around to face the other girls and clapped her hands in typical market women fashion.

“You want to slap me? Oya slap it!” She closed up the gap between them and pushed her body against his. He felt her chest on his crotch and laughed.

“See how short you are. You are like a foot or maybe even less. I hope the weather down there is not too cold for you.” Some boys laughed at this but immediately stopped when the girls shot them bitter looks. By now, Chika, Chloe and Titi had joined the fight in favour of their fellow female and their small alliance made Tope retract a few steps.

“Oh, now you are scared.” Chiamaka said. “Why won’t you be when your IQ has a minus sign leading it.” The whole class burst into laughter and Tope bit his lower lip in anger. He had lost this battle, he thought. And he sure as hell would not beat girls. That would kill his reputation on campus.

“That’s why Ronke won’t fall for you, shey that’s why you’re flaring up. You’ve never liked people beating you to things. You are just a spoilt brat.” Chiamaka said. “And that’s why Ronke will kiss Nath a billion times before thinking about you and that is because he is more of a man than you.”

The entrance door creaked and everybody turned to see Nath standing in the doorway. With the look on his face, it was obvious he had been there for quite a while. He stood there for some seconds scanning each face in the lecture hall before finally settling on Tope’s. They maintained eye contact for about half a second before their concentration is broken by the sound of a maths set crashing against a concrete floor. Everybody turned to look in the direction of the sound and when they turned back to Nath, he was gone.

“See what you caused.” Chiamaka said to Tope. “I hope you’re happy now.


Nath staggered up the stairs, the weight of the books in the back slowing him down to sloth like speed. His mind was still focused on the happenings earlier today. He could see it now. He had seen it half a dozen times on his way back from the college building.

So the whole school knew.

That means Josh knew. His head hurt as he tried to wipe the image off his mind. He had dreaded this day; the day he would have to stand up to Josh and tell him he was crushing on the love of his life.

Which best friend in his normal senses does that?

Yes, he had a past, a very bad past but he was better now. He was ‘good’ now. Ronke however brought up the old part of him. The ‘Martian’ side of him that was dormant. He felt it the day before and it scared him.

He arrived on the fourth floor of the dormitory and dragged his weight to his room. He could hear music from his room. Adele. Josh was home. He opened the door with his key and there was Josh lying down on his bed face up.

“Hey Josh.” He said. There was no reply.

He proceeded to get rid of the load that was his bag and heard Josh speak.

“I’ve heard your gist.”

I’m sorry was all Nath could say.

“Sorry for what? I only said I’ve heard your gist.” Josh countered. “Or is there something I’m missing.” He sat up on the bed to face Nath. Nath looked away.



“Why did you do it?”

“I don’t know, I’m sorry.”

Josh stood up and walked to the book shelf in the corner. He picked up “Red Dragon” by Thomas Harris and flipped through the pages while Nath stared in silence.

“You know this sorry ish is annoying? Just answer my question; why did you do it?”

“I don’t know.”

“Shut up.” Josh bawled. “Don’t tell me you don’t know. First you save her contact on your phone as Abigail so I wouldn’t know, then you tried to kiss her. Now the whole school thinks you guys are engaged and you’re telling me you don’t know.”

“I like her. I always have, but you liked her too and so I stayed away.”

The room is quiet for a while. Josh returned the book to the shelf and picked up a roll of tissue paper.

“I should have known. It was always about her, you never were my friend.”

He slid his feet into a pair of bathroom slippers and Nath watched him enter the toilet and shut the door behind him. It was then he noticed he was still carrying his bag and he dropped it on the bed. He picked up a sachet of water to drink and was about to switch on the TV when Tope stumbled in.

“Who were you arguing with?”

“Not your business.” Nath replied without looking at him.

“Alright, I’m just here to discuss about Ronke.”

“What about her?”

“I like her and I know you like her too but we can’t share her.”

“Where is this coming from?” Nath asked disinterested.

“Chill, you will soon understand.” He paused and stopped to remember his lines he crammed a few minutes ago.

“I’m putting you up to a challenge.”

That caught Nath’s attention and he swivelled round to face Tope.

“What challenge?”
Tope heard the anxiety in his voice and smiled. He got this in the bag already.

“A challenge to see who gets her first; as you know, I’m not a big fan of girls. If I wanted a girlfriend, my dad’s colleagues in the senate have beautiful daughters. All I want to do now is just sleep with Ronke.”

“Yo..You can’t do that.”

Tope grew in confidence and whispered; “oh yes, I can and I would. Talk to you later.” He winked and exited the room.

Nath sunk in his chair and puffed. This meant trouble for himself and Josh. Tope had never lost a challenge especially when it involved sleeping with girls. He was stupid all right but he knew how to put his father’s wealth to good use. Nath feared this might not be different from the others; the guy was a freaking enigma.

The toilet door swung open and Josh stepped out.

“Who was that?”


“What did he want?”

“Nothing” He couldn’t bring himself to tell him what Tope just said.


Ronke laid on her bed with her head propped against her pillow. Her eyes were fixed on the pages of Tunde Leye’s ‘Golden Sands’. She heaved the occasional sigh from time to time and gasped once.

At two, the wall clock chimed twice. Its little chimes reminiscent of a cardinal’s voice. She looked up at the clock and squinted through her reading glasses to see its hands properly. A thought popped up in her mind and she quickly dispelled it.

Why hadn’t they come back?

She had decided to stay indoors this week to avoid been seen by anybody. At least till the Nath scandal died down. Chloe and Shade should have returned by twelve. That was when classes ended on Thursday.

At ten minutes past two, the slightly dysfunctional tap in the bedroom coughed rigorously before it settled to a steady dribble of water unto the ceramic shower tray below. She listened and her ears stood up. Her brothers always teased her anytime she did that. She remembered their taunting jibes and smiled. She missed them.

She dropped the book aside and strolled to her wardrobe to get her towel. Midway through her bath, she heard a knock on the door.

Seriously… They had to come now.

“I’m coming.” She said aloud hoping the person heard her over the running tap. She hurried and was done in five minutes. When she opened the door, she wasn’t surprised to see Chloe and Nike waiting.

“I’m sorry, was bathing. What took you guys so long?” She directed the question to Chloe while Nike ‘eyed’ her and made herself comfortable on her bed. She was furiously tapping her Bold 5 keypads. as usual.

“It’s Nike o. She asked me to follow her to the bank to pay in some money.”

“Ronke” Nike said.

“Oh, you know my name. I thought we were strangers.” Ronke replied. Nike laughed albeit sarcastically.

“You have to go out with Nath.”

“Excuse me?”

“You have to go out with Nath.”

“And am I permitted to ask why?”

“Because he will probably kill you if you don’t.”

Both Chloe and Ronke burst into laughter.

“Nath… kill me? That guy can’t even hurt a fly.”

“Maybe, but he was once a cultist over at Ilorin and a bad guy at that. According to gist, he was the leader and got expelled in his final year. His alias was ‘Martian’” Ronke swallowed and Nike looked up with an evil grin.

“Now, who’s laughing?”

“Be serious jor. When did Nath go to Ilorin?”

“Do you think I’ll joke about something like this? Take.” She handed her phone to Ronke.
“Read the chat messages.” Ronke found a chair to sit on and read from line to line Nike_Spice’s conversation with ‘Twister’.

“Yomi. That’s the Twister’s guy’s name. He added me on bbm on Sunday after he heard the gist about the kiss and ish. And when we started talking, he told me who Nath was before and how much of a terror he was in Unilorin. He said the whole school celebrated when he got expelled and that if you liked your life, you would go out with him.”

After six minutes of reading and two minutes in deep thoughts, Ronke spoke;

“It’s a lie jor! How do you know this guy is not bluffing?”

“Because he’s not. Open my browser and refresh the opened tab.” Ronke did so and when the page loaded, the caption header made her wince.


She spent the next minutes reading the story of how Nathaniel Bassey; the terror of Unilorin had terrorised all and sundry and how it took a dozen mopol officials to fish him out and boot him out of the campus in advent of his expulsion. At the bottom of the story was a picture of Nath in cuffs. His Mohawk was tainted brown with what seemed like sand and his dishevelled singlet had obviously seen better days.

“Jesus.” Ronke gasped. “My own has finished. How do I live with a murderer on mu ta…?” The words weren’t out of her mouth when Shade burst into the room.
Ronke; obviously pissed barked at her in anger. “Hello! There is a door, you know. She rolled her eyes and hissed.”

“I know…sorry.” Shade tried desperately to catch her breath. After she had achieved that to an extent, she cursed.

“What?” Ronke asked

“I just saw Josh.”

“Who is josh?”

“Joshua Fela.”

Ronke stared at Shade in terror and stood up. She looked like she had seen a ghost.

“Are you nuts, how can you say you saw Josh?”

“I did. I was entering the school when I saw him, but when I called his name, he just disappeared in the crowd.”

“Exactly… That poor fellow did that because he was not Josh.”

“I’m serious.”

Chloe just fell on her back and hummed. “Joshua Fela kor, Fela kuti ni.”

Shade shot her a look, thought about it and ignored her.

She grabbed Ronke and pulled her to herself.

“Ronke, would I lie to you?”


“Good. So I’m telling you I saw Josh and I need you to believe me.” Ronke shook her head in disbelief refusing to maintain eye contact with Shade.

“Who is this Joshua Fela?” Nike chipped in. “Is that not the same guy Nah was talking about?”

“Yes.” Both Shade and Ronke answered.

“So what is it about him that is so special that Shade cannot see him? Is he out of school?”


“Then where is he?”

“Heaven I guess.”


“Shade couldn’t have seen Joshua Fela…” Ronke said placing emphasis on ‘couldn’t’. She turned to look at Nike and back at Shade.

“…because Joshua Fela died in a car accident two years ago.”

To be continued next week Tuesday


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    Download “MUSIC IN SESSION

    Music in Session_JswissMusic in Session

    Music in session is a mixtape by Jswiss and Nonso.
    Jswiss is a talented rapper and Nonso an upcoming singer,rapper and producer.