A little too late

Their lips parted as they released themselves from the embrace and returned to their sides on the queen size bed. Another romantic episode and though there hadn’t been any sex as it was the norm, he was still satisfied and she – well, she seemed fine with it.
They kept quiet in the eerie room and listened to their slightly laborious breathing whilst staring at the POP ceiling. It couldn’t get better than this he thought.

“Daniel…” Her voice shattered the silence that once purified the room.

“Yeah?” He replied mid-breath.

“Is it all about this?”

“All about what?” He hoped their reduced voice tones would hide the feigned ignorance in his question.

“Is this all we are – sex idols?”

“No, no… of course not Meg. We are definitely not sex idols. Though we have pretty awesome sex-like activities.” He chuckled and started to laugh but stopped when she remained quiet.
Troubled, he got off his back and balanced himself on an elbow. His eyes found hers easily in the darkness; a thick bright halo bordered by blackness on both sides.

“Meg, I’m serious.” He placed a hand on her shoulder and smiled when she didn’t withdraw it.

“I love you, I really do…” He heard the panic in his voice and hoped it was nothing.

“Okay.” She said finally and pecked him full on the lips. He smiled again and fell back on his back.

Yes, he loved her — Yes, he did. Why then he was desperately trying to convince himself?

“Goodnight darling.” Her voice halted his chain of thoughts. He watched her curl into her usual sleeping position and turned his back to her.

“Goodnight love”

—–*——

The occurrences from that fateful night flashed before his eyes again and he shook it off his mind and kept his gaze on her as she stood up and headed for the rear of the classroom. He wondered if she remembered that night and had dreams about it like he did. If she thought he was a lying bastard after he broke her heart of if she had that idea all along.

He kept her in his view and watched her cut a row and head straight for him. ‘The real Bae’ like his friends would taunt him and say.

‘The real Bae’ smiled at her and pulled her close to himself. She obliged the affection by wrapping her hands around his neck and kissing him. Full on the lips. Exactly like she did his.

His heart broke. Again.

And then he had his answer,.

Yes, he loved her. And No, she wasn’t just a sex idol. Problem is, it was a little too late.

—–*——

Never take someone that loves you for granted…

Mike Dammy
@damstylee
52FD27D5

Advertisements

Mama

Hmm… I shrug and draw my coat closer to keep the cold out.

I wonder how long I’ve been kneeling here,

While my ears are still been attended to by the beautiful music from the humming birds.

The aura of sadness and death is still pretty much around,

But it’s pretty much been diluted with calmness and I fell solemnity approaching and fast too.

My gaze switches to the tombstone which I’m facing and my mind unconsciously travels to the past and I go through a series of memories before I finally arrive in the porch of my childhood home.

I’m suddenly oblivious of my Papa’s presence, and I see Gabriel in the distance running towards us from the field.

There is a large grin on his face and I smile mildly now remembering why he had it.

His cow, which was his first, has just conceived her first calf and he had anticipated it all summer.

“It’s a boy.”

Papa looks up from the newspaper his attention was buried in and manages a faint smile.

It’s obvious he’s trying to hide something but I never saw it then.

“I wish i did though.”

Gabriel reaches the porch in no time, takes a while catch his breath and starts explaining the ordeal.

I see myself get excited as much as he is and was just about to run off to the barn when Mama’s voice halted my advance.

“That’s my boy.

I’m proud of you, Gabriel”

Her voice sounded so pale and she looked worse, maybe even more than I remembered.

I wasn’t bothered though, at least then.

My young infant mind was totally excited at the prospect of meeting Eddy.

That’s what Gabriel later named the calf.

Papa stands up and slowly guides her to his chair. I can still see the forced smile on her face,

And her cheek bones were so visible……

#Argh!

There is a moment of silence and i finally break the air.

“Who’s Loo-ke-mah?”

I now see the shock on Papa’s face when I said that.

At first nobody says anything, but Mama finally did;

“Leukemia is a bad man. A very very bad man.

“He is hurting me, but don’t worry, God will deal with him soon.”

“Why can’t Papa kill him with his gun?”

“He can’t. Only God can.”

“Besides, Papa can’t use his gun to kill a human being”

“But he is hurting you!”

“It still doesn’t matter, Mary”

“But he……”

“Don’t disturb your mum. Didn’t you just hear that it’s only God that can kill him? Papa blurts out.

Why must you be so stubborn?”

“I only wanted to……..”

“Go to your room!”

Disappointed and visibly shaken, I walk into the house wondering what exactly i did wrong.

If only I understood.

I feel so insensitive.

Later that night, Papa took Mama to the local clinic nearby but Mama never came back.

Nobody said why but i didn’t care then.

I just acted stupidly like I always did.

A nail biting breeze jerks me back to reality and I’m back in the cemetery.

Kneeling right in front of Mama’s tomb.

“I miss her.

I really miss her.”

It’s been 10 years since Mama died, but it seems just like yesterday that she left.

I won’t forget our last conversation though.

Right before they left for the clinic that night,

I was lying in bed still angry with Papa because of his outburst, when Mama walked in,

“Mary”

“Yes, Mama.”

“Make me proud.”

“Where?”

“Everywhere.”

“Are you going somewhere, Mama?”

“No Dear, I’ll always be around.”

As she walks out, I called out

“Mama”

“Yes?”

“I love you”

“I love you too.”

I’ve played that conversation in my mind every day for the past 10 years.

Can’t seem to get it out of my mind.

can’t ignore the regrets.

“Mary!”
My attention is interrupted by Gabriel’s call.

“It’s time to go”

“Alright”

Seated in the car now beside Gabriel,

I take one last glance at the cemetery, and….

“I do miss her”

In memory of  Zainab (1993 – 2002)

Though I was too young then to understand or feel the pain of hurt you felt,

I do now, and i hope you’re somewhere better where you can’t feel pain anymore.

This post is also dedicated to anybody and everybody who has lost a loved one or family member to any form of cancer or terminal disease. God loves you.

Thanks for reading.

Please take time to drop your comments.

Damstylee

I